__________________its a lovely day.

hi.
its been pretty happening and i've decided to highlight the important points.

1. yest. i wenta little pervert's house to talk abt something. oh and she plucked out a white hair for me!!! i'm old and dying. and i'm depressed cos of it. i cant get over this white hair thing. and come to think of it i was praying for a white hair to grow on me. damnit. stupid me.

2. i went for a wedding dinner in the evening, representing my family. went with my mom. i was in a skirt and heels and normal bra, entertaining adults the whole night like i'm one. i've been representing my family to go for such functions. well i'm an adult ler. you've to agree that. =D.

3. the groom is so hot!!! i took a photo with him. i was grinnning like some shit.

4. my dad's cousin's wife sat beside me. she is utterly hot too. we exchanged phone numbers. hah. ;).

5. my mom finally realised i've my tooth jewel. after like 2 months?!? and that dad's cousin's wife was so interested in it. she wants one too. hah.

6. i drank red wine and it sucked. i prefer ice wine.

7. friday was outing with ppg. cine cafe food for our lunch. i still think bake rice is much nicer than the bake pasta. eeks. neoprints taken. i look horrid. we played with make up and nail polish. then home.

8. thurs was slacking in sch, trying to do some hw with zq and jl. then zq went for her band. and jl and i wenta tiong bahru plaza to look at heels. we were so amused by the happenings there. haha. and [bu shang.] is not nice!!! it doesnt taste like yakult. eeks. who was the one who told me it does?!? tosk. its bloody eeky!

9. and oh oh! my mom wanted to go and buy heels with me before the wedding. but it was too late. so she agreed to sponsor me 100 bucks for prom!!! how glad. =). so maybe i can get a nice nice pair of heels and maybe a dress or some sort. who wants to sponsor me please contact me. hah. a few dollars does make a difference. ;).

10. later i'm going to the halloween party with jialing. yup. hope it'll be fun. hah.

11. hey melissa. probably you wont read this. but i've to tell you. dont worry too much alright. everything will be alright in the end. you'll move on. but no matter what. remember that you still have us. the ppg. ;).

ok. my mom is nagging like nuts.
i better get goin'.
ta.

[i dont want white hair.]

i've yet to be on a right state of mind lately.
i'm just not feeling well.
and thinking too much.
someone stab me right in my heart.
and i want the someone to be [you.].
i'll give [you.] the honour to.
ta.
i'll burn in hell tonight.

__________________walking outta this liaison.

its forking tiring.
its forking redundant.
its forking getting nowhere.
i'm forking gonna walk outta it.
i'm forking getting fed up.
i'm forking giving up.

tired.redundant.nowhere.ta.fedup.givenup.

__________________fullstop.

havin' my friends is good enough for me.
i'm happy havin' my friends in my life.
they brighten up my life.
and i love them.
all of them.

[surrender.]

__________________i want you 24/7.

baha.
its been so long since i last blogged.
since monday din blog properly.
been busy lately.
and pretty lazy to come online.
ok.
monday was taking back the results for the whole day.
in the morning i cried.
and i dont know how me and melissa the drain ended up shouting at each other.
was funny.
we ended up laughing.
zhiqi the lan was hilarious la.
well my results are bad for a retainee.
like its my second yr ler.
=(.
sobs.

tuesday.
erm.
cant remember.
but i know after sch was crystal jade again.
xiao long paos.
with zhiqi the lan, jialing the neh, peiyin the nip, flora the chee, zhiying the ass, maggie the asshole.
haha.
well.
nice food.
then slowly everyone went off.
so the lan the neh and me wenta buy sports bra.
and i saw something i might be getting for prom.
haha.
yup.
then i sent zhiqi home.
=X.
haha.
then i went to little pervert's house from there.
=(.
was so reluctant to leave.
but left her place at 10pm i think?
cabbed home.
then fell asleep ok.
woke up in the middle of the night and bathed.
and did not pack bag till the next morning.
=X.
yup.

wednesday.
wenta sch.
was late.
got lectured from ms chan again?
abt my ear rings.
sobs.
then was share-a-tot.
i was erm.
stoning.
then wenta hall to get amaths results.
then off for the house leaders course.
it was utterly boring i tell you.
yesh.
abt 5pm.
me, yujia and xinling went to buy the food with mrs goh.
hilarious.
we were like having some competition in the supermarket?
running all over the place looking for everything.
ticking off the list.
rushing everywhere.
running.
well.
and we couldnt control the trolleys.
so heavy!
then was the long trip to the chalet.
mrs goh lost her way.
i fell asleep while yujia and xinling helped to read the map for mrs goh.
and they heard alot of things.
well the piggy me slept dead there.
yup.
then by the time we reached the chalet.
they had pizza ler?
=(.
it was pretty ok for me.
but ms tay insisted that we should cook?
then we had so much leftover.
all the teachers refuse to eat OUR food when they want us to cook for them.
ms tay cooked for our chalet and she claims that it looks nice when she added what.
BAKED BEANS?
baked beans in pasta?
is she ok?
then the other chalet i helped to cook ok.
and ms tay commented that it looked horrible?
TSK.
not as if she tried.
yujia said it was nice ok.
at least nicer than the pasta with BAKED BEANS.
then was card playing and ghost stories and stuff.
and stoning at night.
i slept at 4++am.
it was freaking cold.
i wenta the kitchen to sleep.
haha.
at least the muslims were eating there.
so i din get freaked out.
then i slept in the dining room.
so i totally slept less then one hour?
then was breakfast making.
and breakfast.
and then course again.
=(.
boring.
and all the mosquito attacks.
then was falling asleep after awhile.
then was lunch making.
so i woke up to help joanne.
cos she helped bronte make breakfast.
=).
then was course again.
then blah blah blah.
then before bbq.
joanne wasnt feeling well.
i was so dead worried man.
=(.
but she was ok every awhile.
then was eating in front of the tv.
yup.
blah blah blah.
and no one from our chalet touched the fried rice? the one that ms tay cooked.
the rice cooker was totally full still. yup.
then i slept right after after the meeting.
then they all woke me up to bathe.
haha.
then i bathed and blah.
slept quite well.
but i feel bad.
cos yitian din really sleep well then.
then was packing up to leave.
then next thing i know was me bouncing off my seat.
pain ok!!!
yitian and bernice laughed like crazy la.
so did i.
and sadly valerie saw the whole process too.
haha.
i was sitting in the middle of the last row of seats.
yup i flew off the seat.
almost rolled down the stairs?
i hit my head.
i was so worried i'll get blood clot or something.
well.
then back in sch was blah.
slept the whole day through.
jialing gave me a pink rose.
=).
so sweet.
blah blah blah.
after sch was outting with pervert parts.
then they ate yoshi while jialing and i ate mac flurry.
=).
then they went off.
i went home too.
to bathe.
and went to meet huiyi and dorcas.
then was funeral wake and service.
i was so lost during service.
dont understand cantonese wat.
then went home.
reached home at abt 10/11++pm.
yup.
slept like a pig.

sat.
was class one day camp.
was late.
couldnt get up in time.
then was too sleepy to be in the mood to do anything.
yup.
then slowly i was ok ler.
the instructor ms chan was nice.
she talked abt her dad and all the stuff.
so much things were in my head.
i cried.
=(.
im always so emotional la.
blah.
then i was pretty into the mood to do things.
and i wasnt as dead ler.
yup.
course became quite good.
=).
interesting in a way but not in a way.
haha.
but at least we can see we're all playing a game as a class.
;).
then after course.
we wenta harbourfront.
ms chua sent a few of us to redhill station.
jamie daph and i took train.
zhiqi flora jialing and peiyin took cab.
hahaha.
then jamie and daph went to church.
flora went home.
the rest of us walk around.
my cd player shop closed down ler!!!
=(.
then was prom dress trying and everything.
until all the shops were closing.
i've a big fat butt!!!
so we went home at abt 10++pm.
reached home at 1045pm.
yawn.
haha.

today was sleeping the whole day.
eating and sleeping.
sleeping and eating.
yawn.
sch is redundant now.
no one is in the mood to attend lessons.
sigh.

blah.
ta.

[you're my miracle.]

lock me save in your heart my baby,

__________________you have got the key.

well.
i'm just done with printing the list of things to bring.
woohoo.
quite fast.
time o32oam.
wahaha.
well. there.

things to bring for house camp 2oo4:
- slippers / sandals
- sleeping bag (if you have)
- writing materials
- water bottle
- fork, spoon and plate
- torch (if needed)
- towel
- face towels (if needed)
- a set of uniform (for Friday's assembly)
- a pair of school socks (for Friday's assembly)
- 3 sets of clothes (active wear)
- 3 to 4 sets of undergarments
- toiletries (e.g. toothbrush, shower foam, etc.)

well.
i'm off to get some sleep.
ta.

[a victim of your smile.]

hey bitch, i've never been bothered abt what you think abt me.
just wondering if you're ever reading this,
dont bother commenting abt me in your blog.
'cos i'm nv interested in reading YOUR blog.
thanx for your attention, bitch.
btw you're as shitty as this colour here.

;). white chic rocks.

__________________glimpse of your paradise.

ba.
hello.
just came online not long ago.
woke up at 2am.
took a shower and there i'm online.
i've to print out the list of things to bring for house camp.
so i've to use the com.
wahaha.
well.
i've got no mood to blog la.
blah.
now its freaking o248am.
better get down to work.
ta for the moment.

[lost in your love.]

__________________it lasted forever,

but ended so soon.

_
ba.
its been a long and eventful week for me yeah.
lets start it from thursday alright.
thurday.
i cant remember what happen in the morning.
eh.
i know.
the sex education.
me and jamie were busy trying to listen to my mp3.
and at the other end i saw jialing listening to her disman.
well.
both of us were nodding our heads.
that was funny ok.
erm.
then it was some movie thing.
meanwhile we had fire drill.
then yeah after sch.
wenta town with jialing.
and we slacked around without taking note of the time.
and we slacked in watsons too.
and when we came out.
we realised it was 715pm ler!!!
we got a shock.
we din know we wasted so much time slacking everywhere.
then wats more it din feel like 7++ ler.
then i happen to peep at the woman's watch beside us.
and her watch showed 745pm.
and i so totally got freaked up.
and we were wondering whether it was us in another dimension or something.
baha.
ok. then we went home.

friday.
it started off with me waking up late.
cutting all the newspaper.
then rushing.
taking a cab to sch.
then was passing over ceremony.
all screwed huh.
without ph.
wth.

ph doesnt even have the chance to go up to stage to help us pin?

damnit.
i've no comments.
then had track talk.
and photo taking with house captains.
blah.
then there was me and ange talking to mrs wong after assembly.
well.
then was planning of meals with yujia in her class.
then all the striping incident?
screwed up system of ours.
damnit.
then was house leaders meeting in the library.
and this ber was so nice.
;).
she helped me and wanxian do eng portfolio.
thanx ber.

yup.
then handed in.
and it was farewell ceremony.
=(.
blah.
nothing much.
was sad yesh. duh.
cried.
when the part where our dance picture was screened?
like all the memories of us dancing and laughing away.
they just flashed pass.
and yeah.
cried and blah.
thanx to zhiqi and jialing trying to cheer me up.
haha.
well.
then was photo taking with 4g3. /3g3'o3.
well.
and with the bimbo clique and bloodygang.

and mrs heng. ;).
well.
i couldnt smile properly.
face was so numb.
well.

nose was red.

baha.

and i love bloody buddies.

they gave me a scrap bk kinda thing.

was so touched.

so speechless.

well. thanx babes. ;).

then was lunch outing with bloody buddies.

and candice.

in crystal jade.

all of us cabbed there.

then was ching dynasty lunch.

haha.

and we had fun laughing at chan mali chan.

xiao long pao was extremely nice with bloody gang around.

;).

then they all went off.

and i went to cine to meet jialing the neh, zhiqi the lan, peiyin the nip, flora the chee and daph the butt.

and to find them screaming and stalking this not-so-harry-potter lookalike guy.

well.

then they all went off one by one.

left me and jialing.

ate sausage for dinner.

slacked around.

went home at around 930pm.

baha.

saturday.

was supposed to have training in sch.

dad sent me to sch.

was half an hr late.

and ber just had to msg me to tell me she's not going to train.

so there i went off to little pervert's house.

watched her sleep.

then went home.

yup.

mom wanted to meet me to eat.

damnit.

then couldnt go for worship experience?

but when i was reaching home.

my dad call me and say no need to meet.

then went home and waited for them to buy the food back for me.

damnit.

then i ate.

then slept all the way till 10++pm.

was so freaking tired.

durian stinks like shit.

they were happily eating that stinko thing.

when i was sleeping.

totally wake me up.

yup.

then yup.

nothing much.

today was totally slack and nonsensical.

had lunch with family in some thai restaurant.

eeks i dont really like the food except kang kong with blachan.

wahaha.

=X.

yup.

ok.

hw wants to use computer ler.

well.

ta.

_

[its not time to say goodbye.]

__________________i dont want tmr to come.

well.
really no mood to blog ler la.
have this horrible headache.
so am going offline soon.
take a nap.
then wake up and continue doing all these crap english ca work.
BA.
ok.
ta.

[BA!.]

__________________i cried myself to sleep.

ba.
not really in the mood to blog.
am down to english ca assignment.
shall blog later in the night.
ta.

[all those fond memories.]

__________________this secret held behind my eyes.

_
BAHA.
its o248am ler.
only left me and jialing online.
i just played with facial mask thing.
fun.
i feel refreshed and moisturised.
;).
wahaha.
ba.
well shall go off to sleep soon.
ta.

[my sanity hangs by a thread.]

__________________then let the sky fall.

_
hey.
today din go to sch.
slept the whole day through.
hah.
ok besides eating and bathing.
and helping my mom do some house chores.
the rest of the time.
i'm on my bed.
well.
ba.
blood pressure rather low today.
had constant headache.
gets totally giddy when i stand up.
well.
hw cooked chicken wings for me.
she can cook la.
unlike me.
=X.
ba.
wa.
just now xiling called me?
and damnit.
the sch wants us to pay 7 bucks.
for today's watever sci centre thing.
when we nv even go to sch neither did we go for it?
i'm gonna protest!
hah.
._.".
but wth please.
ridiculous.
anw.
english CA homework not done yet.
wahahah.
i'm so dead.
so screwed.
ange and i dont know any house stuff.
both of us are like in a mist now.
all lost.
ba.
just now was talking to private parts all together on msn.
it was so hilarious.
so funny please.
then ya.
my dad asked me to watch the fire for the soup.
then bloody.
i forgot.
now the whole pot chao ta!
faints.
so smelly.
shitit la.
friday is the last official day for sec.4s.
sigh.
if i dint retain.
i wont have to see myself face them leaving.
i'll be leaving crescent with them.
BA.
but yup nvm.
so totally haven get any presents yet?
everything so screwed.
now i'm getting all worried right after exams.
next week then its results to be worried abt.
why is life so screwed.
damnit.
i just want to lead a happy life with all my frens.
with all my frens.
=(.
ta.

[living in the shadow.]

__________________i love the way you kiss me crazy. ;).

_

ba.

i miss you.

_

[those innocent stares.]

when that smile of yours

_______________________creeps into my mind.

sch marking day 2.
suddenly realised lotsa thing undone.
ba.
nvm.
ba.
today woke up.
helped mom hang up laundry.
then washed socks.
and bathed.
then went off to little pervert's house.
dint get to see my little cute beng with cute gold fringe.
BA.
yeah then went off to town to meet jamie.
wahaha.
slacked.
ate 2 subway cookies.
one white chip and one double choco.
was so in a eating mood.
ba.
then ate one bar of snickers.
and ate old chunk key sotong thing.
ok fine.
i dont know how to spell.
my spelling sucks.
so does my memory.
yup.
drank milk.
and yeah stalked weird ppl around in the process of slacking.
stalking is fun.
BA.
yup.
then went home.
yup.
nothing productive for me.
besides seeing little pervert.
haha.
and talking to jamie.
and throwing all my nonsense to her.
i talked so much nonsense i din know wat i was talking abt.
haha.
well.
BA.
99.9% not going to sch tmr.
excursions are not my type.
it makes me feel sick.
CAR BUS SICK.
and i hate it.
ba.
i just hate taking vehicles.
besides train yup.
haha.
ok.
ta.

[let the pain subside.]

no matter how they toss the dice, it has to be,

the only one for me is you, and you for me

__________________so happy together.___

great.
my msn has some bloody problem.
BA!
it doesnt matter.
does it?
BA.
anw i realised there is no such disease as.
lackonookie disease.
its only a term used in the book.
chey.
bluff me.

[my devotion is for all time.]

i wish i could drink a magic potion and

shrink way down till i was small

enough to fit right into her

blouse pocket and live

there tucked near to

her heart listening

to it beating in

rhythm with

mine every

minute of

every

day.

__________________je m'ennuie de vous jour et nuit.

"listening to Grace moan about how horny she is and about how if she doesn't find a boyfriend soon she's going to die of lackonookie disease," - quoted of a storybook.

wahaha.
i wonder whats lackonookie disease!
i shall go do research later.
well.
yest i read one whole book!
for the first time in the year.
i dont read books for your info!
haha and the book is touching and nice.
but got sucha quote from the above.
=X.
btw its NOT a dirty book.
wahaha.
if you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
ok.
today.
went for training in the morning.
yup.
talked to jw and huiyi before that.
and so embarrassing.
i showed them a wrong person.
._.".
well.
then was the talk with sec.1s.
its hard for me to be not smiling.
=X.
unless i'm bad mooding la.
well but i managed to talk with a strict face for a few moments?
;).
wahaha.
well.
then the sec.1s were quite good girls today.
attendance was good.
ran around big carpark for 5 times.
first few times were ok.
but then my left hips started hurting as usual.
guess saturday the cramp of the hips gave me big signs.
but i din bother.
then the last round my hips gave way and it hurted like shit.
i stopped half way.
and my timing was 400 seconds.
=/.
BA!
haha.
pain ah.
and sir wants to bring me to a doc?
pouts.
i dont like to see doctors.
ba.
then was slacking around.
talked to zhiqi the lan and jialing the neh!!!
planning for wed.
haha.
BA!
then ber carolyn ange and me.
we ate lunch.
then we went off.
and bernicelowxiaoting is a BIG bully.
BA.
haha.
then came home.
my sister bought food for me.
nice la nice la.
yup.
haha.
ta.

[nobody warned me abt your smile.]

forgiven and forgotten. ;).

__________________i know i tend to get so insecure.

seriously.
recently.
i've been mood swinging lots.
and i'm sure its not cos of pms.
its either you.
or me.
or us.
ba.
have you wondered why i've been so cold?
dont ask me yup.
i've no idea either.
i'm just tired.
tired of everything.
am getting so so tired.
ba.
nvm.
you'll nv read this anyway.
ba. yest was our 1st month but it seemed like just another day. yesh hanjin. you should burn in hell.
lets see some nonsense of the day.

smarties panties. silly billy. drama mama. yaya papaya.

and BAA!

right.
i'm just getting outta my mind as usual.
anw i added some links of 3s3'o4 classmates ler.
yup.
ba.

3s3!!!

remainder.

please bring 7 bucks on wednesday.

its for the heritage tour thing.

dont forget alright.

and your english hw!!!

due on wed too.

i'll update on what you've to do tmr or something.

meanwhile.

take care.

ta.

[havent got a clue.]

and no matter what i do i feel the pain,

__________________with or without you.

ba.
yest was training in the morning.
and yeah it was all screwed?
got scoldings and yesh.
we have to change the way we are leading the sec 1s.
perhaps we needa be more fierce.
and yup we are far too soft that sir couldnt stand it.
and no.
we did not teach the sec 1s where to hide.
=/.
ba.
nvm.
then ber they all took a cab down to church.
so i went along.
then went home from church.
bathed.
then off to church.
totally needed to straighten my thoughts out.
cabbed down.
no mood to take bus and all.
yup.
then when i reached there.
the first person i saw was tong!!!
gave her a BIG BIG hug.
so miss her man.
well.
then service was quite ok.
i was hyper.
wasnt as emotional as i used to be.
then yeah kept disturbing ber.
and she is so mean ok.
!!! wat kinda motivator i have man.
pouts badly.
haha.
then yup.
din cry for the first time.
but i teared.
much improvement!!!
;).
yup then after service was dinner in serene center.
we walked sucha long route for our dearest huiyi!!!
haha.
dinner was.
macs.
i din eat yup.
no mood.
then blah blah blah.
then they went off to cherie's house.
and tong sent me to the bus stop.
meanwhile i had some craving for watermelon juice.
but i ended up drinking strawberry and banana milkshake.
haha.
yup.
then went to walk walk along the road and blah.
0915pm.
my bus came.
so there i went off.
thanx tong for waiting for the bus with me.
and thank me for waiting for her for something.
;).
wahahaha.
then yup in the bus was brenda.
chat with her alittle.
yup.
good old days.
then went home.
blah.
thoughts are straightened out.
but i'm thinking of wat tong told me.
ba!!!
ta.

[behind a comforting disguise.]

__________________they could never define,

whats been said between your heart and mine.

_

amaths paper today was.

eh.

utterly no comments.

totally wondering whether i will get promoted not.

wahaha.

i'm just so hopeless.

slacked around in sch with zhiqi.

till jialing came.

yup din go out in the end.

but abit redundant yar.

so reached home at 1pm.

damnit.

i din go for the house leaders meeting thing with.

mr siow.

ahhh.

forget it.

i needa get the house stuff done.

yup.

was planning to come home get changing then go for a swim.

but it seems like the weather aint the best for swimming.

so not going ler.

=(.

i wanna swim.

alone in the water.

in my own world.

get my thoughts all straighten out.

i so need it now.

but whats with the dark clouds.

nvm.

then now i wanna go for evening jog later.

but maybe i'll go meet little pervert instead.

its been abt two weeks i din see her ler.

i'm so craving for the sight of her.

sigh.

am trying my best to have fun.

one week later.

am gonna get down to serious work.

for my 'o's next yr.

that is if i can promote.

ok.

anw i'm addicted to the song.

cant fight the moonlight.

nice song.

;).

ok.

ta.

_

[lying naked on the floor.]

__________________i drive myself crazy thinking of you.

oh damnit.
am i dumb or dumb.
ok.
i'm the dumbest human being on earth.
i was downloading the music into my mp3.
and i was lazy to drag.
so i was supposed to copy and paste right.
well i wenta CUT AND PASTE.
then now die ler.
wahahaha.
i try to upload it back.
but then again.
cannot leh.
i dont know how?
die.
=X.
oh shit.
i am still freaking online.
nonono.
i shall go take a nap.
maybe will wake up with some mood to study amaths.
ta.

[i'm all abt you.]

__________________i am no longer me.

now i'm fierce.
the fiercest i can be.
you can hardly see me smile ler!
erm. maybe.
list of people who matters in my life.
and i love.
[my friends.]
[my friends.]
[all of my friends.]
[little pervert.]
[family.] - at times.

you're not in the list?
get lost.

__________________you've pick pocketed my love.

exams are a pile of shit.
arent you happy, you wont see me in crescent next year?
maybe i'll join uncle mao's club to help clean the sch.
nono.
i said you wont see me in crescent anymore.
baaa.
tmr still got amaths paper.
what am i doing here?
i cant resist temptation.
wahaha.
well.
damnit.
i hope all my papers are NOT f9.
but if its so.
i cant blame it.
i expect it.
cos of me.
the damnit slack me.
ok.
lecture time!!!

[to you.]
hey you there.
stop looking around.
yesh. its you.
you dont know me personally.
and yesh its so totally you.
stop being sucha busybody.
fork you.
damnyou.
stop passing rumours.
i'm no player.
no heartbreaker.
i'm serious abt my liaison.
if you dont know me.
then stop passing rumours.
you've no right to be angry with me.
you know nothing abt me.
get a life.
hear that?
go getta life.

[a tortured soul. a wound unhealing.]