in der Liebe wieder.

hmmm.
just reached home.
like 10pm.
now 1042pm.
blah blah blah.
lazy to blog.
hey.
i saw evelyn look alike.
something happened.
i think she is blind.
hah.
fine.
lazy toot toot neh.
tooth jewel tmr!!!
cant wait!!!
serene's birthday too.
bought pretty stuff for her.
i love her as usual.
teachers day present for sir is nice ok.
me and ber spent so much time on it.
hah.
well.
ok.
tired.
ta.

[a new beginning. a reason for living. a deeper meaning.] yeah. ;).

she is so adorable. =).

its 340++ am ler.
gastric hurts.
was helping on research on someone.
hey i think i am really effective this time.
hah.
great.
well.
ononon. offoffoff.
lalala.
yawn.
ouch.
pain.
shall go and sleep now.
to stop this pain.
ta.

[effective.]

move that naughty body come close to me.

everytime i turn around.

i fall in love and find my heart face down.

and where it lands is when it should.

this time its like.

the two of us should probably start to fight.

cos something's gotta go wrong.

cos im feelin' way too damn good.

nice song.
eeks.
its 2++ am ler.
why cant i sleep.
hah.
shall do something lame that jamie does.
wahahha.
see arh.
la.
lala.
lalala.
lalalala.
lalalalala.
lalalalalala.
lalalalalalala.
lalalalalalalala.
lalalalalalalalala.
lalalalalalalalalala.
"wow! so nice."
wahaha.
that would probably be retarded jamie's reaction.
wahahha.

[for you i'd bleed myself dry.]

i love you.

but i hate you.

i cant stop thinking abt you.

even though i know.

i dont want to know

yeah i guess i know

i just hate how it sounds.

vai se foder.
va te faire foutre.
du arschloch.
vaffunculo.
vete a la mierda.

[silly billy.]

amo il colore rosso ed ancora.

well.
today was aad.
decided to dressed girly.
yeah.
bimbo is the theme for me and jamie.
wahaha.
wore my addidas top and jeans.
yeah.
went to sch.
then assembly kinda thing was sorta like fun la.
i love zhiqi's sunglasses.
it makes me look so hip.
wahahaha.
and jialing's glasses make me look so nerdy.
i love it too.
where is my sunglasses i bought with jialing?
where?
lalala.
then we joined dance marathon.
cos got nothing to do.
and heard the first few songs played.
so tot it'll be fun.
so yeah danced.
no.
bounced to the beat.
hahaha.
well. jw was hilarious la.
well.
miss those days we dirty dance in class.
on table tops.
against walls.
wahahhaa.
so memorable.
and she totally must say i am forever dirtydancing!!!
no i dont.
only most of the time.
winkies.
haha.
joking la.
well.
vera's costume got her a trophy!
vani danced so well it got her one too!!!
well. 3s3 just rock in all kinda ways.
besides studies la.
eeks.
and quite a few teachers went up to stage to dance.
well i have to comment.
some teachers just cant dance.
the way they shake i cant close my mouth.
shocked la.
wahaha.
so disgosting.
after dance marathon.
jamie and i went back and tried writing our chinese essay.
but couldnt.
so went down and watched our class bask.
so much for basking they got 0 cents from the audiences.
haha.
cos everyone tot its just a performance.
hah.
jaslyn, i am still your no.1 fan!!!
kept shouting her name.
hah.
well. she wore a big shirt today.
danced still as well.
but cant see the curves of her body ler.
not as sexy as usual.
haha. but she still danced well.
claps.
yeah.
watched zhiqi's performance.
so cool.
ian wasnt around. too bad.
but partner. i love you still.
hah.
then slack slack.
drag drag.
lalala.
and weizhen became my sister for a few mins.
she is adorable.
far too adorable to be my sister.
and farahin sang so well i wanted her to sing somemore!!!
hah.
then drag and more drag.
and nothing much happen.
then finally.
2++ jialing jamie janice wanxian and i.
we went off to town.
wanted to take cab.
bloody the cab driver dont wanna let 5 of us in.
lalala.
then took a bus instead.
went to cine.
i got my herbal tea to soothe my throat.
went around cheating ppl to make them drink.
hah.
then went up to lips.
was hungry.
but was just talking nonsense upstairs.
din know wat to buy.
and everyone actually had different kinda things they wanna eat.
so we all just stood up and went off.
eeks.
wahahha.
then went to pasta mania to eat.
jialing and i ate only.
they were not in the mood.
ahya.
contradicting.
then off they went.
and jamie and i went heeren.
walk walk walk.
bought some stuff.
walk walk walk.
walk walk walk.
went back to cine.
talked to maxine and ebel.
hey they looked at my undies!!!
hah.
i showed them.
well and they were talking abt my butt?
eeks.
blushes.
hah.
then went in and asked abt my long wanted tooth jewel.
woow.
wanted it since one yr ago?
eeks.
i am gonna get it next week.
then have to smile less in sch.
hah.
then went to taka.
to get jamies food.
and i went for face towel searching.
i bought two.
my mom bleached most of my face towels.
except my ppg de.
lucky. or else i would have screamed at her.
hah.
then jamie ate.
then we went to all the bimbotic shops.
to suit our image.
and had she was wearing slippers.
so i forced her to try on the every single pair of slippers.
hah.
she was so tired of trying.
i could die laughing.
then went to buy her ear studs.
and i wanted to buy hair tie too.
but it grew fatter!!!
hah.
private joke.
i laugh until i wanna pee.
wahahaha.
then pee-ed. and went home.
by then 9 plus ler.
well.
was sleep standing in the train.
hah.
lalala.
and we were counting the no. of _____ we saw.
we counted in few hours.
got 56 _____.
so cool.
and i love my eye gummy.

dedicated to you.

and you should know who you are.

fate parte ancora in qualche modo ancora di me.

thanx for telling me what youve told me.

at least i wasnt cheated.

by the one i had ever loved the most.

[je suis un mensonge vivant.]

the way you move so scandalous.

well.
i am recovering ler la.
just on and off fever.
but its ok.
heh.
called jamie and she said i should seriously see a doc.
last nite.
thanx to ame and daniel???
to entertain me on the phone.
well.
hj. its getting harder and harder to breath.
she fainted. literally.
well. sigh.
talked to sec.1s trackers in the morning.
well. it was ok la.
they are hilarious.
seriously dunno how to talk to them.
make me wanna laugh.
kids now a days arh...
hahaha.
well.
then yeah slept half of the day.
on and off fever.
really din have strength most part of the day.
but felt better later.
cos my partner was so nice to me.
smiles.
then yeah went for house captains meeting.
damn.
now then we get the vice captain badge.
so early ler.
and i must comment.
some teachers are just plain unreasonable.
no names mentioned.
no teachers in particular.
just a comment.
wahahah.
eeks.
we all got rather worked up during the meeting.
eeks.
my lungs hurt like shit.
damn.
ta.

[life taught me to die.]

well.
training was horrible on tuesday.
lost my voice.
and was pissed.
cos the sec.1s were alittle tosk.
but well.
today's training is fine.
=).
yeah.
so am better.
though am sick now.
since after training on tues.
then yeah supposed to go see a doc.
but then i wanted to go back to sch got training.
so dad got pissed and send me to sch in the morning.
eeks.
yup.
and i love my classmates. except little bitches.

i love my partner. zhiqi.
and i am no.1 fan of the hottest dancer in town. jaslyn koh shu ting!!!
i love her too.
and i love jamie as usual.
and i love jialing too. the toot toot neh.
=).
wahaha.
and last but not least.
the founder of xyz brain cells.
the track captain. berlynn.
she cheered me up alot lately. =).
great motivator i have.
ta.
and olinda's voice is so sexy!
winkies.

[i love my friends.] and i dont need you.

whose eyes am i behind.

i dont recognize anything that i see.

whose skin is this design.

i dont want this to be the way that you see me.

i dont understand anything anymore.

in this world that im tired of.

is taking me right up these walls.

that i climb up.

to get to your story.

its anything but ordinary.

part of lyrics of ordinary.
nice song too.
today quite bored.
searching for lotsa lyrics ler.
eeks.

[ive never felt like this before.]

never will be good enough for her.

ill be your dream. ill be your wish. ill be your fantasy.
ill be your hope. ill be your love. be everything that you need.
i love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do.
i will be strong. i will be faithful cos im counting on a new beginning.
a reason for living. a deeper meaning.

i want to stand with you on a mountain.
i want to bathe with you in the sea.
i want to lay like this forever.
until the sky falls down on me.

and when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky.
ill make a wish sent it to heaven then make you want to cry.
the tears of joy for all the pleasure and the certainty.
that were surrounded by the comfort and protection of.
the highest power. in lonely hours. the tears devour you.
i want to stand with you on a mountain.
i want to bathe with you in the sea.
i want to lay like this forever.
until the sky falls down on me.

oh cant you see it baby?
you dont have to close your eyes cos its standing right before you.
all that you need will surely come.

ill be your dream. ill be your wish. ill be your fantasy.
ill be your hope. ill be your love. be everything that you need.
ill love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do.

well.
hear this song from 98.7 fm.
sorta missed it alot.
nice lyrics rite.
=).
these great acting skills.
sometimes i dont know when i am acting.
when i am not.
[words to deceive me more and more.]

crimes that were never defined.

well.
used my handbag today!!!
so bimbo.
=).
then like that la.
dad was speeding his fren's car in the morning.
was worried i will die in it.
the car so poko.
he also very poko.
his ears cannot make it.
dont even think he is supposed to drive ler.
yet he still drive his fren's car.
speeding somemore.
almost die of heart failure.
eeks.
but wasnt late for sch.
blah blah blah.
lalala.
then after sch.
prank time. hi delia.
i am evil. you know wat i am talking abt rite!!!
ok i am. cool. you know my secret. ;).
i really am.
and i am not denying.
that i have great acting skills!!!
though i kept laughing.
and wanting to box him.
argh.
nvm.
then went off to meet my sister.
the taxi driver is meano.
cheat my money ok.
wahaha.
then came home.
lalala.

[contemplate jealousy intermixed with urgency.]

silly billy.

yest was a great day.
though i screwd my morning with my dumb chinese oral.
it was how easy.
yet i pronouced all the words so weirdly.
damn.
bought ten stalks of flowers for my dear friends.
heh.
then went to the bank after oral with jialing.
then came jamie. she called me to meet her.
then we went to buy jialing's discman. but there were ppl around.
then sent jialing off. so i decided not to.
then jamie and i walked around cine. and she is jealous.
stalked someone for fun. cos i have too many eye gummies.
then went to heeren. adorable adorable!!!
then to buy my addidas handbag!!!
and i realised all along i spelt adidas as addidas.
i think it looks more right with an extra d.
and i insist.
wahhaha.
the man was sucha bitchy bastard.
and in the end jamie got the same handbag as me too.
so happy.
we were sooo soooo happy ok.
then we changed my happy ending lyrics in the train.
wahahhaa.

so much for my lousy ending..
youve got your smart frens.
i know wat they say.
they said that im difficult.
so are they.
but they dont know me.
do they even know you.
all the things i hide from you.
all the great things i do.

wahahaha.
how lame can we be.
we were so happy.
abt our life.
and everything.
wahahaha.

ok.
today.
woke up late.
then ate lunch.
rested.
then went to play tennis.
at the teachers' union.
opp serene's house.
thought of her the first thing i reached there.
my sister my dad and my dad's fren played with me.
so fun ok.
jamie is jealous.
wahahaha.
then had my chicken wings.
then calls a bunch of playful sec.1s.
funny ler they all.
then i ate ice cream.
then went home.
then yeah.
i feel like playing tennis or badminton also can.
=).
lalala.
i am still not feeling well. inside out.
[somebody save me.]

accidentally in love.

hihi. delia showed me chloe's pic!!!
still no mood for proper blogging. was happy.
haha. but wat am i doing.
well. i am supposed to be over her.
i am a great motivator.
i see my motivator nodding too.
hah. she read my blog last nite.
saw my eyegummy at the bus stop!!! and hah.
i want her no. she was paranoid.
help. "hello baby. read your blogie. we break up le ar? sorry i couldnt find you today.."
well. she msged me.
i gtg be a nerd ler. how adorable!!!
but hey.
wat if i die tonight?
my lungs have been hurting.
issit overstrained lungs like the past?
it hurts. sometimes i hope i die sooner.
and my ankle is giving me lotsa troubles too. but ive lotsa things undone.
damn.
ta.

[its getting harder and harder to breathe.] literally.

no i dont need another half to make me whole.

oh hihi.
no mood for proper blogging. hi delia.
listening to 98.7 fm. argh.
wahaha. i miss chloe so much.
single is playing. she was telling me its cold there.
i like. =). i am worried she is not used to the weather there.

this is my current single status.
my declaration of independence.
theres no way im tradin' places.
right now a star's in the ascendant.
im single.
thats how i wanna be im single.
thats how i wanna be.

dont need to be on somebodys arm to look good.
i like who i am.
im not saying i dont wanna fall in love cos i would.
im not gonna get hooked up just cos you say i should.
cant romance on demand.
im gonna wait so im sorry if you misunderstood.

everything in its right time everything in its right place.
i know i'll settle down one day.
but 'til then i like it this way its my way.
eh i like it this way.

my declaration of independence.
oh no its not true!!! i love her. am dependent on her.
there.
part of the lyrics for single.
i think the lyrics is so true.
well.
am not really feeling well.
menses' fault.
eeks.
blog properly some other time.
she's busy with her studies.
i understand.
i wont blame her for not spending time with me.
well.
singapore idol!!!
ta.

[study hard.]

name not mentioned.

cos i know ppl will go.

"i knew it."

hah.
well.
today.
eeks.
no mood to blog properly.
erm.
she came to find me in the morning.
share-a tot was hilraious. hah. delia i saw you on stage.
track meeting. i wonder how chloe will look like on stage.
din get to go. surely damn shy de.
rushed to find mrs heng. but hey delia. miss you.
pe. i bet you dont miss me de!!! =(.
2.4 run.
horrible stamina. timing: 11mins. 31secs. =(.
negative stamina. =X.
have to train real hard.
eeks.
lessons.
dance.
fun.
slept.
buff nails. eeks. i am no bimbo.
ring day.
2 dollar note ring from her. sweet sweet. ive got diabetes.
and jialing helped me make another ring for her.
winkies.
i have one similar one as her too.
heh.
well.
jamie came at 12 plus.
gave me a few hugs. i am big shot wat. wahaha.
went off for her tution.
then.
ate.
riddles.
chang sy is blur.
then came her.
off i went.
to harbour front.
she sent me there.
26 missed calls.
from my sis.
met my sis.
saw denise lim.
and ying liang.
denise bloody dont believe i am a chairperson!!! so evil!!!
=(.
eeks.
then yeah.
went to find the cd player i wanted to buy.
bloody.
shop not open.
help ber buy her eeyore.
walked around.
bought something for peihan.
went to toa payoh branch to find cd player.
oh no.
dont have.
so nothing really done today.
just eeyore shopped.
and did a nail on the nail machine.
hah.
well.
then yeah came home.
i am thinking of the banana republic top i saw yest.
i want it too.
and that roller excerising thing!!!
eeks.
i am still in the shopping mood.
but spent like 100 bucks in two days.
serious.
its alot.
cos fri or next week will have more shopping trips!!!
to get the addidas bag!!!
and that levis jeans.
oh no.
i want everything lar!!!
eeks.
money.
broke.
eeks.
ta. actually i miss loooking at chloe. but usarin is nice. +delia. to look at.

[i wanna do shopping with lotsa money.]

love is a friendship on fire.

ah.
well.
today went out with jamie.
bought a addidas top.
and a addidas bottle.
ahhhh.
damn.
i want the levis jeans.
and the addidas bag.
and the weights.
and that skipping rope.
and that swin wear.
argh.
i want money.
hahaha.
but all i need is her.
thats enough.
hmmm.
went to eat ice cream in macs.
the girl who served us is called chloe!!!
hah.
but then i am over that name.
that person.
wanted to tell delia personally.
but then i din wanna disturb her. actually i still did.
then yeah. heh. hi delia. i love you. but i love her more.
hahaha.
eeks.
mrs gam made me the eng rep?
wth.
enough stress.
i am gonna die of stress.
but.
hah.
she makes me smile enough.
that it makes me forget all those stress.
oh no.
the she is not mrs gam.
its her.
=).
she is the sweetest girl on earth.
hah.
shall say something to make her jealous here.
i shaked my eyegummy's hand today!!!
i told her she is cute.
oh no.
used the wrong term.
she is adorable not cute ok.
hahaha.
smiles.
lalala.
tosk tosk.
tmr i am going out with my sister.
and she is sending me to meet my sister!!!
how sweet right?
though cannot make it for the date with her.
cant wait to see her.
din see her today.
ah well.
someone happily sleeping at home all day long wat.
ok.
todays entry is so totally not in order.
i still have essay not written yet.
yucks.
hmmm.
well.
off i go alright.
have to start essaying.

[it takes time for one to realise that you actually love the one closest to you.]

i m the truth. aint got nothing to prove.

15th august'o4.
0717pm.
heh.
=).
i am a happy girl.
and know wat.
she calls me xiaohan.
how adorable of her.
and she wants me to keep it low profiled for the time being.
i will keep her name low.
winkies.
for her sake.

smiles.
well. oh no. i know i spelled chloe wrongly in previous entry
was tired you see. hah. hi delia again. =). ive a change of target again.

like chocolate.

tastes so good.

my heart's been mended who'd have thought it would.

an empty bet and still i won the cash.

a man who i love and who loves me back.

oh, waited so long.

for love to heal me so i'd feel it.

thought it wasnt breathing then you came.

you proved me wrong again.

heh. tmr is geog paper.
lied to my parents no paper ler.
i am not gonna study.
cant get down to study.
lalala.
just cant stop thinking abt the way she smses me.
how adorable.

[cute.] = [ugly.] + [adorable.]

[adorable.] = [adorable.]

i dont like [cute.] ppl anymore.

i like [adorable.] ppl.

i love.

am rather hyper now.
hah.
missing her.

lalala.
today ph grabbed my butt in front of sir.
he talked to me after that.
scary.
and then came yuani grabbing my boobs.
eeks.
scarier!!!
then went to holland village with jialing to save ber.
talked abt riddles.
hilraious.
i am slow.
fine.
laughed like anything.
evelyn is slow or as slow as me.
hah.
went to pet shop with jialing.
wooo. i want a gay dog.
hah.
then jialing bought me a rose!!!
oh so sweet. i bought her one too.
hah.
its xmas you see.
hah.

[feelin' way too damn good.]

its the end of you and me. =).

hi. imstrongerthanieverthoughtthaticouldbe.
today's papers. babyiusedtogowiththeflow.
all screwed. didntreallycareaboutme.
hah. youmightthinkthaticanttakeit.
abit give up on being a nerd ler. butyourewrong.
always study so much. causenowimstrongerthanyesterday.
then come out some shit. nowitsnothingbutinmyway.

outta pt qns. mylonelinessaintkillingmenomore.
yucks. imstronger.

totally wanna die ler la.
so stressed ah.
lotsa things undone. missing chole like nuts.
bronte stuff. sigh.
class stuff arh! cholecholechole.

hmmm. ilovedyou.whydidyouhavetogo?
everything.

screwed. nah. delia. hi.
lalala. i know you are reading this.
hah. i love you too. winkies.
oh no.
got one pimple.
wth.
stress ah.
argh.
off to nap.
ta.

[high five.]

eventhoughiknowidontwanttoknowyeahi guessiknowijusthatehowitsounds.

lets talk this over.

its not like we're dead.

was it something i did?

was it something you said?

dont leave me hanging.

in a city so dead.

held up so high.

on such a breakable thread.

you were all the things i thought i knew.

and i thought we could be.

you were everything.

everything that i wanted.

we were meant to be.

supposed to be.

but we lost it.

and all the memories so close to me.

just fade away.

all this time you were pretending.
so much for my happy ending.

youve got your dumb friends.

i know what they say.

they tell you im difficult.

but so are they.

but they dont know me.

do they even know you?

all the things you hide from me.

all the shit that you do.

you were all the things i thought i knew.

and i thought we could be.

you were everything.

everything that i wanted.

we were meant to be.

supposed to be.

but we lost it.

and all the memories so close to me.

just fade away.

all this time you were pretending.

so much for my happy ending.

its nice to know you were there.

thanks for acting like you cared.

and making me feel like i was the only one.

its nice to know we had it all.

thanks for watching as i fall.

and letting me know we were done.

hah.
my happy ending.
lalala.
lyrics very easy to remember.
those colourful lines are easier to remember.
those me and jamie can remember.
hah.
we sing.
sing.
sing a song.
lalala.
ta.

[i dont wanna know.]

explainations are not needed when there is trust.

idontwannaknowifyouplayingme.
keepitonthelow.
cosmyheartcanttakeitanymore.

busy with commontest.

[yucks.]

she stood up tall. knowing she cant fall.

she stood up strong.

once again.

without fear. without tear.

just some highlights ler huh.
brought my tortise to sch today.
went to sch with my sis and my fake kor.
hah.
gave constant bath for tortise cos it keeps making the water.
hah.
class gave it all kinda names.
[hanjin.] <--- like wat the hell. lol.
[asshole.] <--- so out of point!
[peekaboo.] <--- so hilarious.
but i still call it.
[tortise.]
without the O please.
i spelled tortise like that since young and i still think it sounds nicer like that.
hah.
my left eye tear gland area is currently still swollen and red.
looks like someone punched me if you noticed it.
but if you dont.
you dont ler.
haha.
but yeah pain pain.
faints.
hah.
anw.
blah.
i promised to help ms malini with the ms humanz thingy.
i went to buy materials with shafinaz and wanqi from spot light.
then heh.
sent shafinaz to boon lay.
then went back to tanjong pagar to meet kor.
went home with her.
woo. overstay in the train station again.
hah.
then reached home at 8++.
yawn.
did the ms humanz thing half way.
yucks.
why am i so helpful.
hah.

[yucks.]

oh.
did i say my mom bought a tortise for me yest before i came home.
was thinking to bring it to sch and treat it as a class pet.
but for the moment.
its too young.
and its not eating.
i am so worried.
i shall bring it some other day when it get used to life alone.
or should i buy another tortise to be her fren?
hah.
faints.

[i love my utterly cutie tortise.]

jian dian ai.

hmmm.
yest wasnt feeling well.
woke up early and went out with my parents for breakfast.
then came home.
rested.
then ate lunch.
then sleep the whole day.
till abt 9 plus woke up for dinner.
ate.
bathed.
then came online.
went offline then stoned till 4am.
then slept.
hah.

today.
woke up at 1pm ++.
then had lunch.
then started packing my stuff till just now.
hah.
i think i am recovering well ler.
=).
heh.
oh well.
i am feeling better.
after crying everything out.
and skipping everything out.
hah.
i skipped alot today.
i haven start studying yet.
yucks.
so slack.
i am totally not in the thinking mood.
so yeah.
hahahaha.
faints.
ta.

[study is more important.]