my headache is back.
time 0201.
i think i am gonna faint and die.
oh my dog.
faints.
off to sleep.
nites.

[headache.]

unfulfilled desires.
deprived.
no longer.
disgusted.

cant imagine good friends smooching each other.

yucks.

to you.
irresponsible acts are not accepted.
not in my class.
i am saying this as a class chair.
and i hate you for being so irresponsible.
yet you act like you are the best student in front of the teachers.
get a life.
asshole.

[asshole.]

 

today.
went to sch in specs.
felt better then yest.
no pills for me today.
=).
something happened in the morning.
so talked to ms chua after assembly.
with sue, ann ann and shafinaz.
then went back for emaths test.
so yucks lor.
i spent all my time drawing the 1 mark graphs in front.
when its supposed to be sketched!!!
yucks.
then no time to do the graph question at all.
8 marks gone.
oh well.
ann ann and me had cookies.
shared around.
nice eating them during lesson.
eat then sweep the floor.
then eat and sweep again.
hah.
then had lit.
mimi joined us behind.
umrah not in sch wat.
then yeah had recess.
with jamie, carolyn, xiling and fazliah.
din eat.
had fun calling carolyn.
sucha nice name.
hah.
then went to visit ms goh.
with diana and shafinaz.
was supposed to be bio.
but ms ng not around.
so yeah.
chit chat.
then went up.
slacked.
then chinese.
we set at the cooler there.
the relief teacher came and talked to us.
she believed ann ann, jamie and i dont take chinese!!!
hah.
so cool.
then chinese.
went in and had a weird talk with sms.
as usual she just has to talk abt her being smart can find nice clothes in the dustbin.
like wat the hell.
hilarious ler.
then mimi and ann ann and me.
we were bitching abt ppl.
wahahaha.
we were feeling like slapping and punching some ppls' face!!!
hah.
had fun talking to them.
releases stress.
then eng.
mrs gam not around again.
so slack around again.
hah.
xiling, carolyn, jamie and i were trying to step on the wall.
we can fly.
hah.
then so many foot prints on the wall.
felt so guilty.
had fun playing then we clean the wall afterwhich.
hah.
then had amaths test.
ok.
i din know  wat i was doing.
sorta stoney actually.
then geog lesson.
left fifteen mins.
and no one seems to care.
so everyone went home.
jamie and i went to the cooler there to sit and eh.
chat.
then yeah went down to canteen to eat.
even shapnem could tell i was sick.
ok.
then ate alot.
went to talk to ann again.
jamie, ann lee and i went to watch the nc ppl.
so cool everyone can stand so str8.
but shafinaz was so yellow!
hah.
and she giggles alot.
hah.
then watched ppl play basketball.
then went home.
jamie and i are very determined to change our bad habit of wasting time ler.
hah.
hope we'll change soon.
smiles.

[change for the better.]

memories are meant to be memories.
 
anw.
i ordered 6 cans of beer from tertia ler.
heh.
ria passing them to me.
tertia that hilarious girl.
dunno why she wanna promote beer.
hah.

[no turning back.]

today had slight fever in the morning.
felt totally sick.
mom din believe.
she said its cos of my period.
yucks.
utterly no need.
had slight fever.
slight flu.
eyes swollen.
and alittle of cramps.
yeah.
din really do mass run duty.
was still in the skirt.
din wear contacts.
eyes cannot really open.
i din run 2.4.
running next week.
ms chua joined us for pe.
she came to announce to mimi and yuani that they can drop amaths.
janice and me can drop art!!!
=). finally.
then i helped to take timing.
felt so sick.
mrs heng and ms chua so cute and sweet.
they asked me whether i wanted to go home.
but i ate my pill right before pe.
so felt alittle better.
yup.
then maths was slack.
english. better.
mrs gam wasnt around.
got some rest and chit chat.
went down to canteen to find neo shihui!
=).
miss that pretty girl ok.
sooOOoooo00ooo pretty and hot.
sajc ppl came and sell hand-made ear rings.
so yeah she came.
my kor kor's frens were there too.
and they say my bro and i totally dun look alike.
sobs.
hah.
then jamie and i bought 2 pairs of ear rings each.
=).
hah.
talked to neo. she is hilarious.
then went back for amaths.
while waiting for ms chua.
made them clean the class alittle.
ms chua came in and she was in a good mood.
so she is giving us a gotcha.
=).
hah.
then i fell asleep half way through the amaths lesson.
ms chua allowed me to.
then just slept.
i dunno what happened during chinese.
cos i was still sleeping.
then australian maths paper.
was still sleeping.
paper started at 105.
and end at 230.
i woke up at 2 to do the paper.
hah.
totally do and fall asleep then do.
the pill i ate really made me so giddy.
then after the paper.
we had maths d remedial.
half of the class not around as usual.
then i rested.
then ate my pill again.
cos was feeling worse.
then sleep again.
ms ho was so worried for me.
she is sweet too.
she asked me to go home.
then i woke up went to toilet to wash face with jamie.
then went back that time.
ms ho asked jamie to look after me.
so sweet.
din know she is so nice.
so caring.
and i totally dont pay attention to her lesson.
i never respected her.
but now i do.
=).
and diana very sweet also.
she asked ppl to keep quiet when i was resting.
heh.
yup.
then went down for lunch.
ate alot.
then talked abt stuff with sue, ann ann, fazliah and jamie.
yeah.
decided abt something.
then went home with jamie.
talked abt our meaningless life.
so i decided to set my priority right.
yeah we are gonna set a goal in our lifes.
=).
hah.
then went home.
then bathed.
and here i am.
hah.
kk.
off for dinner.
ta.

[all or nothing.]

i realised i took so long to blog.
just now that entry took me abt 40 mins to type it.
yawns.
my eyes are shutting.
yawns.
now.
0208.
i shall go sleep ler.
ta.

[yawns.]

hey hey.
its 0117 now in the morning.
wat the hell am i doing here.
hah.
anw.
i am waiting for my hair to dry.
so might as well come online.
since my brain is half dead.
cant really study or do any hw.
=X.
was supposed to download music into mp3.
but my sister's account doesnt have the music.
and for my account..
heh.
i forgot my password since quite long time ago.
still cant remember.
=X.
horrible memory.
so now ive decided to blog abt these past few days.
=).

last sat.
supposed to go for speech day thing.
but last min ms chua told us no need class representatives ler.
so i stayed at home in the morning.
met sp in town in the evening.
dressed girly.
=X.
hah.
then came  the shy cecil.
with her cute hair.
then walked around.
bought flowers.
find our way to the place for the concert.
so far ok.
i was sweating like i had a run.
hah.
then concert i had fun entertaining myself.
dancing to the beat.
heh.
mr lee saw me conducting.
cries.
he laughed at me.
hoho.
crescent played well ok.
but din win.
but nvm.
=).
its not abt the winning.
its abt the spirit.
then went off to far east plaza burger king with carolyn, angeline ber and evelyn.
yup.
ate like a pig.
while they finished their burger they cannot take it anymore.
hah.
i ate my whole bloody meal ok.
pig ler.
then yeah sent them to the bus stop.
they went home one by one.
hah.
ruth appeared.
then yeah.
went home together.

i was like happy all over again. but you had to spoil it all.
sunday.
oh no.
cant remember.
short term memory.
erm.
nothing really happen so ya.

monday.
sch was normal.
chem practical was horrible.
took others' done practical and acted as if it was our work.
hilarious.
did only one experiment i think.
but almost burn down the sch.
hah.
then jamie went home in the middle of the day.
she was sick.
during art was funny.
talked abt alot of things.
and some that i dunno.
flabby.
then went home with jialing.
ate ____ ______.
reminded me of someone.
yeah.
then ruth met us.
jialing made fren with ruth.
hah.
it was hilarious.
was guessing ruth's chinese name.
and i was so close.
and i got it right.
=).
xiang ling. hah!!!
then yeah both ruth and i sent jialing to boon lay.
her new house.
hah.
there.
reminded me of someone again.
then yeah went home.
kor asked me to go northpoint to get yoshi salmon bowl for him.
so i went.
met june.
talked.
went home.

tuesday.
i tried crying.
like diana says she can find me a job to cry.
i wanna be an actress who cries everyday.
cos i can do it.
by just sitting and stoning for abt 10 mins.
confirm can start crying like crazy.
unless i am hyper ler.
haha.
then yeah cried. =).
then somthing happen to our class.
yup.
then like that ler.
chinese test.
horrible.
sms was taking over mdm lim.
hah.
funny woman.
i fell asleep while doing the paper.
and like that she also can notice.
hah. i din cap my pen when i fell asleep.
so i stained my towel with ink!
how careless.
then after chinese lesson.
jamie and i walked sms to the rotanda.
then i said "careful dont fall!".
in chinese.
cos she looked so tired like anytime can roll down.
then she said "dont curse me ler!"
-.-".
wat the hell.
i was trying to be caring k.
though she treated me like cow dung last year.
bleagh.
then yeah after sch i went to westmall with jamie.
was supposed to send the sari for laundry wash.
but we went eating mosburgers' strawberries.
heh.
then i bought bread talks' bread too.
hah.
then went to the laundry shop.
12 bucks.
so cheap.
i expected 20++ bucks or something.
then yeah we went walking around.
and this jamie went spraying some haha spray everywhere!!!
oh bloody funny.
i almost die laughing.
hah!
then we went to buy sweets.
lotsa sweets.
then went home ler.
hah.

wed.
that is today.
i mean yest.
past 12 ler.
haha.
ok.
blah.
went off for nationals at 11++.
with jo, sy, siti, liting and adrea.
yeah.
miss them alot.
we din take the bus.
we took public transport.
sir says no space so ya.
hah.
went to town to get some food first before we go.
hah.
then went there ler.

din do warm up with the 4x100m runners.

i know i am not running for sure.

so yeah lazy.

wat kinda horrible reserve am i?

hah.

hweeyi did the warm up though.
sy and i walked around.

to the beach.

the beach we got caught by the police!

hah.
talked abt some deepest secret thing.
=X.
then walk walk.
went back.

sir gave me a long talk.
walk walk walk.
then watched races.
crescent actually did well.
its just that sir and lin had higher expectations.
which caused everyone to be upset.
but come to think of it.
hey.
like in singapore.
you get into finals.
that shows how pro you are ler.
smiles.
saw liyun!!!
heh.
talked to her.
and she became my new _____.
hah!!!
for you to guess de.
28th july!!
=).
winkies.
wahaha.
evil laughter.
i have a sexy and hot _____.
hah!.
then sy and siti went off first.
jo went home with her parents.
i was trying to cheer my dearest yitian up.
jamie went off too.
then yup.
went dinner with yitian yujia hweeyi ber carolyn evelyn yilin pearlyn usarin grace.
we din know where to alight.
we were actually heading to suntec.
but ya.
after missing so many stops.
we ended up eating in raffles city.
got guys help us in the bus.
they were funny yet nice ppl!.
hah.
i can see yujia nodding her head.
hah!
then yeah.
went home after eating.
yujia usarin and i went by the woodlands way.
the rest all diff way.
so chat on the way.
time seemed to fly pass fast.
cos usually taking train seems so long.
hah.
then yujia got off at khatib with me.
cos bus terminating at yishun.
so waited for the train with her.
hah.
then went home.
ate alot of chocolates.
fell asleep on the sofa.
then woke up and bath.
and here i am waiting for my hair to dry still!
hah.
i think i am damn pig these days.
cries.
hah.
nvm.
tmr pft!!!.
totally not prepared.
just feel like sleeping the day away.

[accepting the changes in my life.]

im all about you.   everytime i start being committed.
im all about us.   my heart will be thrown back into the
no, baby, you never have.   deep
to question my love.   blue
and every night.   sea.
theres a new crowd.   i din believe in love.
but its always you.   and now.
that im singing about.   i still dont.
so much for my happy ending...
have been singing this song lately.
and know wat?
hah. this is the chorus and i only know how to sing this part of the whole bloody song.
hah.
=X.
oh well. nice song lyrics. =).

[im all abt you.]

not in the mood to blog again.
lazy ler perhaps.
too much to blog.
find a day with more more more time.
then i will blog.
tmr got chinese test?
somebody save me.
i dunno ler.
how?
still got hw.
cries.
haha.
stress ah.
faints.
ah.
ta.

[nonchalent.]

hey.
am fine.
guess carolyn can tell that i am back to who i was.
=).
i am strong like before.
smiles.
but am  in no mood to blog.
hah.
blog some other day.
ta. haveyoueverthoughtofhowi'llfeel. iwassadandithadnothinggottodowithyou.
 
[smiles.]

its 0232 now.
so late ler.
so tired.
been sitting in front of com.
thinking.
talked to shapnem alittle abt how i feel.
started crying.
just keep thinking abt them.
and i realised.
its not the right time to cry.
i needa be there.
for those ppl who need me.
i dont care whether they acknowledge it or not.
i am just being who i am.
and that smile will be back.
=).

[cheers.]

why do i care so much.

when you guys just dont give a damn.

am drowning in stress.

drowning in depression.

sometimes i wonder.
what am i doing here.
giving that smile of mine.
when i am hurting so much inside out.
crying out loud inside.
sometimes i wonder.

[paradox of life.]

its been so long i din blog ler.
lets recall the highlights of the week.

monday.
went to town with jialing and carolyn.
went to buy stuff.
then jialing went to pierce her ear.
hah.
then it was amelia's birthday.
they went up to sing a birthday song to her.
so hilarious.
yup. went home with june.

tuesday.
cant remember.
but i went home early.
was sick and tired of everything.

wednesday.
racial harmony celebration.
wore a sari.
jamie too.
shes sooOOoo00ooO hoooOOoo00ooOt.
walked on stage.
everyone had a good laugh at me.
so embarrassing.
3s3 got 2nd.
am glad 3s3 had joined as a class.
=).
then left early for nationals.
i felt bad.
cos i was obviously not running.
but i am still the reserve actually?
so din let off the chance of skipping lessons.
cos was really tired.
physically and mentally.
then did warm up with the 4x100m b div.
yt. yujia. denise. usarin.
they ran well.
sorta mood swing alot?
no. i was depressed.
yup.
hah.
i dropped my hp on the floor.
and i kicked it down the stairs.
and i never knew why ppl suffering from depression behave so weirdly.
i din really know wat i was doing.
yup.
then went home.
din eat anything on that day.
was feeling rather sick.
drank lemon lime juice and almost puke.
went home.
ikea delivered my wardrobe and my table ler.
so started packing and making space for it.
rather tired by the end of the day.

thursday.
i cant remember wat happened.
but jamie went for nationals.
din really wanna go.
but went cos she was there.
was rather. still in a depression.
binge eating disorder came back to me at lot1.
ate and ate and ate non-stop.
just trying to release stress by eating.
but rather uncomfortable.
but thats me.
wat to do.
went home then.

today.
oh no.
cant remember.
ok. lessons was quite slack.
ms chia came and book deepa for the dusty windows and messy table.
jamie and i cleaned the windows.
i was rather ______.
sch ended at one.
and i had alot of things to do at one.
packed bag.
found the ms humans paper.
filled in the name.
then.
ms chia's pizza for me!!!
my big name written on it!!!
with an extra g.
ran all the way down to collect it.
came up. rather happy.
then got to hand in the ms humans thing.
ran all the way down.
in search of ms malini and her pigeon hole.
meanwhile.
ran up and down the rotanda a few times.
came up.
the whole pizze gone.
=(.
ok. nvm.
hidden feelings that only jamie knows.
she is rather understanding.
but yah.
its not abt the pizza.
its just abt the thought of it.
as in.
i asked ms chia for more pizza so everyone can eat some too.
but then again.
she wanted to give me only.
i dunno.
why should i even care.
nvm.
i am fat so pizza doesnt matter.
but still was depressed and pissed abt stuff.
abt before and after.
then jamie and i took train down to chua chu kang.
watch usarin's run.
jamie and i are in her no.1 fan club.
hah.
she ran really well.
soOOoooo00ooO fast.
so proud of my daddy.
was really worried when she looked so lost right after the race.
yup.
then they went for training.
jamie and i bought food.
went up to forth floor and eat.
was planning to study alittle.
but then ended up talking.
abt everything and everyone under that big hot sun.
and of cos.
jamie's hubby.
hahaha.
then went home ler.

[dont mind me.]
[depression.]

oh well.
went ikea.
like again.
finally got the furnitures.
=).
but yeah no mood to blog again. =X.
the only happy thing happen today is that i finally booked my furnitures.
argh.
nvm.
no mood.
bloody.
i am a bitch.
there is something wrong with me.
no.
there is something wrong with you.
no.
there is something wrong with your friend.
fork off.
bloody.
 
[bloody n0 mood.]

so pretty.
but no mood to blog. =X.
 
i miss your smile.
i miss you body and soul.
 
but wat am i doing.
running away.
 
[running away.]

i dunno wat happened.
but usarin became my daddy.
and i have been calling her my daddy.
and i am proud of my daddy.
=).

i will smile.
or else i will be flushed down into the toilet bowl by jamie.
with pangsai water somemore!!!
i dont want.

ok.
lets see.
tuesday i went for training.
was sorta sad.
cos lin just have to scold me everytime i go for training.
he din allow me to sprint.
then i said i was striding.
sigh.
he scolded me the previous time i went training.
said wat if i din ran for competition i would have recover.
but sir said i should run for experience.
i ran. rather. i hopped through the race.
so wats the big deal.
he dislikes me. i can tell. =/.
then when i tried doing the starter block.
he just have to ask me to get off it.
i mean its not as if it will hurt my thigh more wat.
=X.

wed.
went to meet tong after sch.
=). missed her like crazy.
met her at boreders.
went kino to find her guidebook.
saw mrs sia. =X.
then we went to eat sakae in heeren.
buffet.
like again.
haha. ate until wanna puke. =X.
haha. we kept ordering salmon.
=).
this weird guy.
just have to hop out and appear in the middle of nowhere and ask something stupid.
but he was cute.
=X.
haha.
ok then went to cine walk walk.
took neoprint.
=). nice yet funny ones.
nv knew take neoprint so tired de.
hah.
then walk her all the way to far east bus stop.
was so totally crapping on the way.
then she went home.
i walked all the way back to cine.
to meet my sis and ruth yeow.
they ate instant noodles.
then i went up to think abt the present.
then decided to go heeren to take a look.
but it was drizzling ler.
so just strolled under the rain.
on the way the rain became heavier.
looked around in heeren.
decided to go back and get the present from cine!!
but the rain became super heavy!
but ruth had fever before that.
i feel so bad making her running around under the rain.
then yup went back.
totally drowned.
my eyes were so drowned my contacts almost float outta my eyes.
hah.
then yeah got the bottle and went back home ler.

today.
feeling really stress.
pimples. pimples. pimples.
nothing really happen in the morning.
ohoh. i gave my daddy usarin a good luck hug in the morning for her race in the afternoon. =).
and me and jamie were excerising during bio prac lesson.
hahahaha!!
during chinese lesson.
had to bring wanqi to find ms chua cos she have to go off.
so i walked around.
saw mrs wong in the art room so went to find her regarding the bronte thing.
she screamed at me. =(.
abt bronte stuff first.
brought me outta class.
then she started scolding me abt my earrings.
then my nails.
then she started talking to me abt something that i am totally not involved.
i was quite ok with it.
till the moment she said "dont act innocent!"
i got so sad.
i started tearing.
i mean.
i am not acting innocent.
but i am just ignorant abt some stuff.
i really cry very badly.
eyes were so swollen.
was so bloody sad.
went back for chinese crying like a mad dog.
sigh.
ppl tried cheering me up.
thanx. but really couldnt.
cos yup. =/.
then went back for eng.
eyes were so swollen i fell asleep while reading the passage.
lucky i din get caught.
yup.
walked jamie outta sch.
then blah blah blah.
went off to choa chu kang stadium with carolyn valeria and denise ting in a taxi.
heh. got there in time to watched yujia's+hweeyi's+usarin's race.
=).
yujia got 2nd in her heat.
so proud of her.
hweeyi got 3rd in her heat.
very proud of her too. she has injury ok.
usarin, my daddy. she got first in her heat!!
woohoo. so proud of her.
heh.
then denise ran.
so cool she was 2nd. =).
then we had choco cake for ber's birthday.
liyana sp judy and co bought for her de.
yeah i ate quite alot.
they just have to treat me as a tissue papper.
wipe their hands on me. =X.
anw.
then valeria yujia and me went to dare ourselves to take photo with this guy.
haha. in the end yujia and i took a pic with him.
val was cameraman.
haha.
then the c division 4x4oom run was great.
meanwhile playing with little girl.
[chilli chilli crab.]
yup.
then walked to lot1.
they ate long john's while i stare.
then yup.
me and yujia went searching for better pimple cream to save our faces.
haha.
then went home.
wat an entry.
long long de.
just like the toilet roll.

oh man i cant wait for racial harmony day!!!
yen suteh mutermeduh.
=).
i am gonna be a girly girl on that day!!!
=).

[happy birthday ber.]

no mood to blog.
fork.

screw me.
thats all you wanna do.

kiss my ass.

[go ahead. screw me.]

oh ya.
its rachel tong's birthday today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONG!!!
i miss you so much. =).

[happy birthday.]

oh well.
am with jamie in buttercup coffee rite now.
smiles.
just now was sooOoo bored so decided to stalk two juniors around.
heh. =X.
wahahaha.
anw went to sch today to hand in my chinese essay.
but din write it yet.
so i wrote it in sch.
walk into sch first thing.
shafinaz run to me. haha.
so cute rite. =).
then we went to the canteen.
did out work.
and bought "tekiyaki" paus.
wahahahaha. that was how the uncle pronouced it.
wahahaha.
and shafinaz was so funny to tell the uncle that she wants a "tekiyaki" pau.
then i was writing my chinese essay and she was doing her maths.
ok ler. we were just trying to do.
talk more than do la.
hahaha. then jamie joined us after her oral.
then we started practicing our tamil language. =D.
hahaha. asked ppl how to translate some words.
wahahaha. rather fun.
wahahahha. =).
then yup. shafinaz went to meet ann ann ann.
wahahahah.
then i continued trying to do my essay while jamie complains abt how slow i write.
haha.
then huiyi and ria sat down with us.
so funny this ria.
she suddenly talk to huiyi's moo!
total hilarious.
and the way she played with my rings was totally funny too. =).
then yup moo was quite dirty i supposed!
hahaha.
then they went for their bio and yeah.
then i finished writing my essay.
and handed in to mdm lim.
closed my eyes while talking to her.
cos of my purple contacts ler.
hahaha. so scary. but mdm lim is really cute. =D.
then yeah left sch.
to become pro stalkers. [again.]
hahahaha.
then here we are in cine.
saw my cute girl downstairs.
heh still as cute as ever with cuter hair. =).
yup. gonna meet traviz kor later.
heh.
oh well.
i am a shy girl.
why no one believes me!!!
ouch.
haha.
ta.

[i tried so hard and got so far. in the end it doesnt even matter.]

i wanted to be like you.
i wanted everything.
so i tried to be like you.
and i got swept away.

i didnt know that it was so cold.
and you needed someone.
to show you the way.
so i took your hand and we figured out.
that when the tide comes.
i'd take you away.

if you want to.
i can save you.
i can take you away from here.
so lonely inside.
so busy out there.
and all you wanted.
was somebody who cares.

i'm sinking slowly.
so hurry hold me.
your hand is all i have to keep me hanging on.
please can you tell me.
so i can finally see.
where you go when you're gone.

if you want to.
i can save you.
i can take you away from here.
so lonely inside.
so busy out there.
and all you wanted.
was somebody who cares.

all you wanted was somebody who cares.
if you need me you know i'll be there.
oh, yeah.

if you want to.
i can save you.
i can take you away from here.
so lonely inside.
so busy out there.
and all you wanted.
was somebody who cares.

please can you tell me.
so I can finally see.
where you go when you're gone.

all you've wanted by michelle branch.
nice song ok.
=). kept listening to it during the malacca trip.
jo kept telling me thats its nice so i kept listening.
smiles. really nice ok the song.

[i can take you away from here.]

oh well.
been going home with sis kor and felissa.
=).
felissa is soOo cute i think.
she looks totally cute.
maybe i am interested.
haha.
i know if fionne is reading this she will shoot me a look.
haha.
anw.
blah.
went for training yest.
surprising.
after the race that time i sorta give up on training ler.
but sir scolded me.
so for his sake. i went for training.
did a total different workout as others.
cos of my thigh injury.
did 15 sets of jogging here and there all along.
was thinking of alot of things while jogging.
so just kept jogging and jogging though mr lin din say how many sets i have to do.
yup.
today had amaths test.
was so screwed and i felt so stressed i started crying after it.
hahaha.
nvm.
then had oral.
screwed again.

mrs rupa: points at picture. "where do you think this picture is taken at?"
[hj.]: "oh no! eh. i cant tell. the picture is blur and dark."
mrs rupa: "make a guess."
[hj.]: "hmmm. erm. maybe its sentosa?!?"
mrs rupa: "why you think so?"
[hj.]: "cos the passage was abt sentosa?!?"

then mrs rupa started giving me that ._." look.
so embarrassing.
haha.
oh well.
after oral had house practice.
and wat kinda great house practice.
only had angeline ph and me there.
totally. sigh.
three of us.
the only three bronterians played against pankhurst.
two other pankhurst girls joined brontes' team.
played captains ball.
haha.
felt hyper and crazy.
then after that short short not even half an hour game.
we decided to dismiss ourselves.
since so little of us.
haha.
then i talked to nuer in the canteen.
then may and judy and delia and hwee boon came.
we chit chat.
been long since i really talk to nuer.
haha.
but she just totally has to read a [tosk tosk.] kinda book.
tried to be self obessessed.
tried taking photos of myself.
but eh. cannot make it.
so ended up posing as a nerd for sp to take!
haha. i just love being a nerd.
anw. then left may judy and me.
and this judy looking so innocent.
totally have to ask me abt my first kiss so loudly.
and sadly she doesnt know i am innocent.
i haven had my first kiss!!! wahahahahahaha. =D.
then went off to mobil with them.
may walked me to redhill station!
i walked her to the bus stop and waited for the bus with her.
but the bus refuses to come so i went to find my sis at redhill station ler.
haha.
went home ler.
i am having a headache.
=X.
stressed perhaps.

[flexible label.]

hmmm.
going to delta to fetch my sister later.
in sch slacking away.
i dont understand why am i doing this.
its killing me.
slack my life away.
argh.
mood swing here and there.
lalalalala.
been laughing and frowning.
dont really know i have beem thinking.
too much perhaps.
too much.
but i should say.
this retarded jamie can really make me laugh!
esp when she falls on her butt.
haha. =X.
oh well there i go again.
happy thought.
but now not in the happy mood again?!?
sigh.
nvm.
who cares.
ta.

[i wanna see ya wink.]

you dont love me.
but you love the idea of having me.
i know it cos i can tell that.
you dont know the details of me.
you dont even know me.

[you dont love me.]

good morning.
fell asleep while listening to the birds chipping.
it was 5++ when i fell asleep.
woke up at 11++.
i am deprived of sleep.
yawn.
have to do hw.
[homework.]
ok.
ta.

[deprived.]

oh well. fell asleep at the com mins ago.
haha.
now its 0450.
still at the com.
chatting with jen and tertia all this while!
miss them.
heh. they are soOo crappy.
anw i wrote testi for the first half ppl on my friendster.
to be fair.
i wrote to most of the ppl.
yup. =).
but then still got half not done.
but i am sleepy.
so too bad.
some other day perhaps. =).
ahaha.
really needa sleep ler.
ta.
off to drink some milk and sleep. =).
nites.

[milk.]

today.
basically.
packed my stuff into my room ler.
went through so many letters.
put into different folders.
everyone who wrote letter to me got a folder de.
the top three leading no. of letters are.
jiahui's.
bernice's.
cindy's.
hahaha. =X.
i think i was too bored.
hahaha.
anw. yeah went through so many things.
thought through so much stuff.
all my past.
all my tears.
all my joy.
those are my precious memorises that i treasure the most.
=(.
am sad.
just sad.
dont ask me why.
sigh.
now its 0221.
so late ler.
wat am i doing here.
i kept on thinking.
pondering over things that are gone.
i mean.
all i am left with are memories.
sigh.
ok nvm.
shall talk abt happy stuff.
i have new bed sheets.
colourful de. =).
got lion and zebra and elephant de.
haha.
and my moo is laying on my new bed ler.
but i am not sleeping there yet.
not used to it.
sigh.

[its only the matter of sooner or later.]

ok. hihi.
i am now in my mommy's office.
she's working.
and i missed those days when i was young and i followed her to her office.
so i followed her here today.

let me recall wat happened yest.
ohoh. it was youth day celebration.
i wore the addidas shirt ph and i have de.
but she couldnt wear coz she having oral later.
heh. and lime green shorts.
ok. nice combination rite.
grins.
wahaha.
ppl waved hi to me in the morning!
i am sorry if i din react.
coz i was sorta half blind.
haven wear contacts wat.
wanted to wear my purple contacts.
but just couldnt find it.
my bag too many compartments.
then i went to visit 4g3.
then went walk walk with jw and huiyi.
=). to G block to peep/stare at my eye gummy!
heh.
so chio ok i tell ya.
wahahahahah. grins.
then i keep hopping up and down.
due to over happiness. =X.
hahaha. then went back to class.
and yuppy.
ms chua gave us chocolate biscuits.
yummy. but i prefer meiji de to that winnie the pooh de.
then had maths d lessons.
was kinda boring.
then mr lee boon keng came and gave us lollipops!!!
wahahaha.
and then it was lit.
ms saifa gave us mars and snickers.
nice. =).
ate it instantly.
and made yummy noises while diana, my dearest right hand side partner.
she couldnt stand the noise i made.
wahahha. umrah my left hand side partner cannot stand it too. =X.
hahah.
and my ex partner who now sits in front of my left hand side partner is still as funny as ever.
missing her still.
btw.
are you confused by wat i typed?!?
cos i am trying to confuse you!!!
wahahaha. ok i am kinda bored.
and then eh.
went for recess.
had fruit plate as usual. =).
then had chem.
i had to give out worksheets.
so many sets i went alittle gong.
and this ms ng so mean ask me to settle some stuff.
which ends up to me being a mean girl. =X.
haha. but in the end everything is solved without ppl being mean.
ok. are you confused?!?
haha i think i am crazy.
the air con here had froze my brain.
hahaha. =/.
then after chem was youth day concert.
took attendance.
then went behind to sit with jamie on the mattresses.
heh. concert was so so.
but i think mr lee's voice not bad la.
haha.
after dismissal.
i walked jamie to the backgate then off she went finding an ulu place she was supposed to go.
then met up with bloody buddies.
heh.
had to wait for jw due to some ahem.
then hahaha.
everything done ler. then jw couldnt find her bag!
went around the whole sch to find it.
i was cursing the person who stole it.
it ended up with no one stealing it.
but it was found outside ness's class.
coz jw's bag got her nametag.
who is the kind soul who brought jw's bag to ness's class!!!
too kind. waste our time argh.
hahaha.
then off we went to town.
went seperate ways as huiyi has to find presents for ppl.
huiyi jw and i went to find presents.
sy fionne and tw went to k pool.
then jw and i started the dirty talk as usual.
and the poor huiyi who is so innocent went searching for the presents she needa buy.
then went to meet the rest in k pool.
stayed there for not long.
then very hungry.
and again. huiyi jw and i went off to eat.
on the way.
saw jennifer and tertia tay and some ex 2g2'01 girls.
oh my dog.
tertia tay is sooOOoo girly.
heh missed that girl.
hugged her which she hugged me back reluctantly.
she forever like that de. heh.
hugged jennifer too. =).
then we went off to edo sushi.
wanted to eat there but they only had buffet.
saw jialing and co. there.
then went off to suki sushi.
huiyi and i ate our sashimi.
while jw had her soft shell crab califonia roll.
then huiyi had to go off ler.
jw and i headed to cine cafe to eat bake rice.
hahaha. ness went to meet jw.
then yup.
while eating.
jw and i talk abt quite alot of things.
wahahaha.
so fun talking to her.
makes me laugh. HAHAHA. =).
then went back to k pool.
sy was leaving ler.
then fionne and tw still playing pool.
jw had to go off.
and me too.
so we went off.
yuppy. walked jw to bus stop.
went to northpoint to visit june working.
then bought something for jamie and myself.
then went home.

today.
woke up early in the morning.
got changing.
wore a damn padded normal bra to please my mom.
and waited for sis to wake up.
dad sent her to bukit merah interchange.
mom dad and i headedto ikea then.
went looking at furnitures for my new room.
not very new ler. haha.
then yuppy.
went to eat meat balls then.
saw ysy!!! haha.
and ong and sara jean. =).
then said hi.
haha. then started on my yummy meatballs. =).
then yup ate ler then continued with furnitures searching.
bought a few wall shelves i liked.
winks to jamie.
before we leave ikea.
we ate the hotdog. hah.
winks to jamie again.
then went off to harborfront to look for a wardrobe.
on the way hw called me and told me she lost her hp.
=/.
she left it in a stranger's car.
like wat the hell.
who ask her to even get into a stranger's car at the first place.
sigh. got nothing to say ler.
then eh looked at wardrobe.
dun really like.
still prefer ikea de. =).
then yup afterwhich.
headed to my mom's office.
i did some hw.
[that is homework not hanwei.]
then haha. yup. came online.
and there is no msn here.
so bored!
ah. wat a long entry.
who read the whole thing must be fainting ler.
wahhahaaaaa.
thats quite impossible.
cos it was all crap.
eeks.
ok off i go to continue with my hw.
[homework i mean. not hanwei.]

[eeks. bored.]

and oh ya.
[happy youth day.]

ok. not in a blogging mood.
blog tmr.
for your info.
i miss my eye gummy.
i love bloody buddies.
i love cbsf.
i love h[j]am.
=).

[i love my frens.]

i can still remember the time.
you were there when i needed to hold you, feel you.
every time i ask you to find a new way.
you lie a new way.
is it gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

you've said you'd changed, but im afraid.
it's something i wont live to see.
it seems so strange.
that sometimes fate.
can appear so real and yet.
turn out to be a fantasy.

same old line, one more time.
say you're gonna be, there for me.
say you'll change, change your ways.
never gonna keep your promises.
same old game,
you know it doesnt turn me on.
brand new day,
you're singing that same old song.
no more lies,
if you dont wanna find me gone.
gone, gone, gone, gone.

another night, another day.
what can I say.
you're still the same old brand new you.
you break your promises in two.what can I do.
when you're the same old brand new you.

because of you, i guess we're through.
is this the way it has to be.
i've been a fool.
a fool for you.
but i've got better things to do than.
let you walk all over me.

same old line, one more time.
say you're gonna be, there for me.
say you'll change, change your ways.
never gonna keep your promises.
same old game,
you know it doesnt turn me on.
brand new day,
you're singing that same old song.
no more lies,
if you dont wanna find me gone.
gone, gone, gone, gone.

a1's same of brand new you.
heh. happen to be listening to the song lately.
realised the lyrics quite nice.
so yeah there. =).

[i've been a fool for you.]

hmmm. tmr going to crystal jade with bloody buddies!
so excited.
heh.
so happy. smiles.

anw. yest nothing much happened.
actually rite.
short term memory.
so yup. cannot remember.
okok.
had recess with carolynn and jamie.
fruits and dark sauce all over.
heh.
jo and i went shopping after sch.
before that i guessed someone's eye gummy.
second guess correct ler.
coz she is my eye gummy too!.
whahahaha. my apple fruit she is.
anw. yup outta point.
then went girly shoopping.
looked out for girly clothes.
went zara.
got this really nice shirt.
stripey. jo likes it. so do i.
but i think i looked weird in it.
so din buy.
went to mango.
the shirts are nice.
but too [you know.] nipple revealing.
hahaha. coz of the material la.
=X.
hahaha.
bought a girly black shirt in the end.
same as jo de. smiles.
and then we went slippers searching.
coz jo needed slippers desperately.
went to heeren.
then paragon.
then far east.
and yeah found it. went home.
bought girly ear rings too. =).

today.
nothing much.
like that ler.
fruits again.
and my favourite tofu for recess.
smiles.
cannot remember anything.
oh shit.
i got short term memory.
cries.
then after sch.
went to photocopy lit wksht.
met wen and hari and xuemin outside art room.
then decided to go off with wen and hari since they going out.
i going home duh.
i so guai.
then yeah got myself updated with some happenings in 4g3'o4.
seriously. so many changes.
as in.
not that i know wat exactly happen.
but yeah.
its just not the same as 3g3'o3.
as in. cliques' difference is a big difference ler.
yuppy. =(.
nvm. then went to 4g3.
supposed to help hari pass msg to liyun.
but mrs goh ailin had to be so fierce to me. =(.
then yeah waited with them for liyun while chatting.
then went home.
called june for a reason.
but yeah she din wanna go.
so yeah went home.
and bought lotsa tidbits before coming back.
on a binge now.
i dunno why.
maybe coz i am affected by someone.
sigh.

[do you remember loving me?. or was it my fantasy.]