bro will be back within 5 hours.
then i wun be able to use the com as often as i did le.
so i cant find time to talk to some ppl le.
am sad. sigh. =/.
oh well. its diffffffffffffffff. ok.
gtg. nitenite everyone. muackzz.

[its different. really it is.]

she doesnt care abt me.
she is like no longer part of me.
whereas you always do.
you are too nice to me.
i cant stand it.
i want you.
yet i dont want you.
i cant be sucha flirt huh.
dont be so nice to me.

[am not worth it.]

hello. oh well... bro supposed to come back today.
but his flight delayed. lol.
oh well. yest mom and sis went to uncle's house to stayover.
very good left me to be the maid in the house.
damn. hmmm. today dad din allow me to go training.
so i had to do self-training.
my father followed along.
he woke me up at like 7am?
like damn i haven been sleeping well these days.
then finally get to sleep well he come and wake me up so early.
hate it. then did 1 round for warm up only.
dad was panting le. he is getting real old.
sometimes i think i should just accept the fact that he is my dad.
and that i should love him. ok. watever.
lalala. then i did 8 x 80m.
striding only. dad ran with me for the first time.
he was not bad for the start then he slowed down.
lol. i won!!! but hor. he is old le so i oso not say win.
then went to fitness corness.
did 5 times of everything. 5 rounds.
cool down one round. then went to have breakfast. =).
today supposed to celebrate sy's bdae.
but my dad dun allow me to go.
sigh. went home.
packed the house like a pro maid.
sweep floor. mop floor. clean the whole house.
wash clothes hang them and folded the rest.
lalala. then bathed. went to uncle's house.
big house woo. it was his house warming.
7 rooms. 2 kitchens. 2 living rooms. 1 dining room.
4 toilets. =) big rite. lalala.
then had buffet. ate like pig. =).
then eh. went up to the guest room and sleep!!!
slept more than 3 hours according to my cousin. =/.
lol. then woke up dunno slacked around.
they bought food again. then i ate like mad again.
then eh slacked around again.
lalala. my cousin who was the one who was in star search.
she is damn chio. she was a passive noe.
woohoo. now she so str8. so i shall learn from her.
lalala. hmmm. then my aunts and cousin came over to my house.
staying over. yup. the house is now sparkling clean.
coz of who? me. like duh. the pro maid. =).
lol. hmmm. yawn. eyes shutting.
but not in the sleeping mood leh. lol.
miss the chiobu i saw yest!!! so very chio.
lol. hmmm nvm. hohoho.

[now the truth is showing.]

da ge's birthday. tiffany's too.
just now tiffany was so very chio too.
yup yup. hmmm.
happy birthday jiawen.
happy birthday tiffany.

[happy birthday to you.]

yeah. am back from prom.
hohoho. me and sy were totally extra.
esp in our clothing.
she in bung clothes me in passive clothes.
ok today is supposed to be the [bung and passive day.].
but hor we din get to exchange our outfit!!!
ok i wore a denim short skirt. sleeveless girly shirt.
hair down. then eh girly slippers!!!
hoho. typical passive outfit.
anyway i am a BUNG so i am not supposed to wear like that.
lol. hmmm. met sy at 5. slowly found our way to oriental.
hohoho. then we totally stood around just to see all the chio sec.4s.
yup yup. everyone looks damn great.
so chio. hohoho. then went to find liyun in her room.
oh well. then went down. hid here and there coz we totally were not supposed to be around.
lalala. then every single soul went in.
so me and sy sat outside. yup yup.
mayyee came out. she looked nice. yup. she din recognised me at first.
she was like, "hey take a photo for us."
then she looked carefully then realised its me. lol.
yup. then jiahui came out to take photo with me.
she was chio too. very sweet looking. =).
like sy and i are totally extra around.
then mayyee came out again. took a photo with her.
yup yup. then lingzhi and tertia invited us to go in.
coz got two extra seats.
then both of us refused. but they somehow made us go in.
but it was fun though. we were totally extra.
as i said. hahaha. then all the sec.4s were like,"eh wat they doing here?"
hahaha. then sat there. dora was beside me.
wooo. she was chio. hahaha. then dunno wat she talking abt.
lalala. then jennifer came over. she is so skinny.
lol. hmmm. then cute girl came over to take photo with jen.
cute girl gave me a red rose!!! hohoho.
oh well. i love flowers. yeah.
hmmm. then me and sy left coz it was late le.
i had to leave at 9. so yeah i did.
lalala. then strolled. me and sy went to marks and spencer to buy food.
hahaha. then went home.
yup yup. am having a horrible headache.
i feel like digging out my brains.
and my mom is pissed with me. i noe why le.
coz she always side me then my dad scold her.
damn i hate my dad. ass-hole.

[dont send me junk mails. please go str8 to the point.]

am still online.
bleah. not in the sleeping mood yet.
how my eyes are craving to sleep.
but i cant seem to sleep.
blah blah. =/.

[cant take jokes. will die of heart attack.]

oh man.
maybe gonna re-dye my hair.
asked around.
no one can see leh. so sad.
they said its my natural hair colour le.
but my hair not red. blah blah.
anyway i have got two boxes.
used one. using another one tmr if i bored!!!
blah i am sooOOOOoo bored.
lalalala.

[the truth is hidden in me where i have been searching for all along.]

i sat down and wrote this letter.
telling you that i felt better.
since you were gone and i was free.
im so happy.

i have so little time to spare now.
im wanted almost everywhere now.
i make out like casanova.
friends are always coming over.

i signed my name as if i meant it.
sealed it with a kiss and sent it.
the letter had improved my mood.
happy in my solitude.

but halfway home i changed my tune.
and when i saw my lonely room.
the mirror caught my eye.
when i sit down i cry.

big lie, small world.
big lie, small world.

i had to intercept that letter.
telling you that i was better.
i raced to catch the postman van.
he was leaving as i ran.

i miss the bus i miss the train.
i end up walking in the rain.
big dog chased me down the street.
i hadnt had a bite to eat.

feeling sorry for myself.
wishing i was someone else.
i walked across the city.
cause i couldnt stand your pity.

big lie, small world.
big lie, small world.

the place you live looks opulent.
and obviously a higher rent.
than our cosy little room.
i had this sense of doom.

the landlord says youre out of town.
that your new boyfriend is always around.
the hour was getting late.
so i sit down and wait.

here is the postman with my letter.
coming down the path, he was better.
give that thing to me.
i have to make him see.

begging doesnt do the trick.
he thinks that im a lunatic.
and then who comes upon the scene.
but your new boyfriend mr. clean.

i hit the postman, hit your lover.
grabbed the letter ran for cover.
the police arrived in time for tea.
said they liked to question me.

i can only curse my fate.
i have to face the magistrate.
it hasnt been the best of days.
i would like to fly away.

big lie, small world.
big lie, small world.

nice meaningful lyrics i found.
lalala. but found it lame in some ways. hohoho.
lalala. oh oh.
did i say that mrs lee waved hi to me?
hohoho. *winksss.
she is like soooOOOoo friendly... yucks.
and my dad dun even allow me to step out of my house tmr.
damn. ok. i shall try to beg my mom.
hope she will change her mind somehow.

[sick and tired of living in a world of lies of my own.]

good morning... =).
just woke up.
just now sis supposed to wake me up at 930.
but yucks either she nv wake me up.
or i was too tired din notice her waking me up.
sigh. last nite ended up not sleeping.
started sleeping only 6am in the morning.
slept till 9am. rushed to school.
talked to fionne in the parade square.
yupy up. talked to tw and chang sy too. =).
hohoho. then went back to class talk to hari, wen and janice.
then they left. fionne and i talked abt our childhood!!!
and we are lame ppl. hohoho. but so fun eh. =).
hmmm. then she went to meet tw.
then i studied in the canteen for 15 mins.
then not in the studying mood. so went to pe room.
hohoho. then peihan, angeline and bernice were there.
did our banner. *winks.
woohoo. so proud bronte so hardworking eh. =).
hmmm. then played frisbe. i was acting so bimbotic i couldnt stand myself.
hahaha. i practised my chinese k. learn new vocabs. =).
hmmm. then went mobil... wat else.
played badminton. i played bowling and skipped myself.
hohoho. i was too bored. trying to entertain myself.
lalalala. then went home yup yup.
told mom abt tmr. she is unhappy with the way i sleep too much in front of her.
she is angry with me. she dun allow me to go leh.
i am so sad. and abt the combination thing.
i seriously dunno wat to do leh.
sigh. damn. i dun wanna transfer eh. damn. =/.
my eyes keep swelling for nuts. stupid eyes.
ouch. damn. celebrating ysy's bdae on sat.
dun even know can make it not. sigh...

[i remember holding your hand. the kind of happiness within was hard to describe.]

i cant sleep.
just now went offline.
sat around for a few hours.
sigh. am troubled by i dunno wat oso.
just cant seem to lay down and sleep.
sigh. oh well. so bored.
not even a single soul is online on my contact list.
yawn. so tired yet cant sleep.
sigh... kk. i better go try to sleep le. sigh.

[cant seem to sleep with so many thoughts in me.]

the sky is raining.
the cloud is crying.
drips onto my heart.
no need to say. i am thinking too much.
no need to tell me. i am just dreaming.
let me drench myself in that rain.
for i hope. to get back to that beautiful moment.
to find myself.
can i? get back to that beautiful moment?
to hide myself. to run away from reality.

woohoo. i translate it myself. from a taozhe song.
i dunno how to spell his name leh...
ok. i guess the meaning of the song de la.
found the lines i like. hohoho.
my chinese improving. *proud again.*
hohoho. kk. i am pure bored.

[run away from reality. the fact that nothing seems right.]

hmmm. i din say my dad din follow me to sch huh...
yup he din. i found out the posting myself.
sigh. damn. am so worried.
hai... how???
hmmm. sy and i have this [bung and passive day.].
its a cool day k. gonna be fun.
if only i can go la. sigh.
i wanna play k. its so fun. can be both bung and passive in the same day!!!
lol. oh well... i am excited over playing.
but worried over my dad transferring me out leh.
damn. i am just too playful.

[all i want is to see my friends everyday.]

hey. have been missing you.
yesh its you. stop looking around.
hohoho. this is lame. =/.
but i really miss you.
no one knows who i am referring to wat.
everyone thinks i am a flirt.
very good la. sigh. i shant say a word of my love life anymore.
i believe living in memoriess is better than nothing.

[and yesh. i am missing you.]

hmmm.
i am posted to 3s3 next year.
taking arts. =/.
no choice. and i have to take bio chem.
i cant study bio de!!!
talked to mrs lee. she is so YUCKS.
no comments le. oh well...
how? am not planning to tell my parents yet.
i wan physics. sigh.
anyway i got my hair streaked.
medium red brown.
hohoho. wat a colour. not obvious at all.
and finally my dad realised i pierced my ears.
like how observant can he get lor. sigh.
i rather he is not observant forever.
if he finds out the combi i am taking.
he will transfer me out. i guess i have to do something.
before he finds out. sigh. i wanna stay in crescent!!!
mrs lee actually said i can continue taking the same combi.
she is a liar. =/. i am so sad. how?
blah. watever. going sentosa on sat!!!
no time to study at all. but even if i study.
maybe i cant even stay in crescent? sigh...

[i am always regretting after i making mistakes. wats wrong with me. fuck.]

did my links. did it all by myself!!!
*proud* *winks.
hohoho. check the link [hanjin.].
cool wor. hahaha. lame. =/.

[bored.]

and did i say that my dad is following me to school tmr?
muz be careful k. everyone.
all my frens!!! muz act guai. like very studying type.
or else he will really wanna transfer me out man.
hohoho. so fake huh. hmmm. he wanna talk to my teacher.
abt the appealing of changing combi. from hist to geo.
lalala. he freaks me out!!! oh hell...
then most probably he will ask around the teachers.
whether i have really been to consultations.
i lied to him wat. i have to or else he will not allow me to go to sch.
wats more tw and i made appointments with mr tan.
in the end din go. am feeling bad.
then mrs ow. i made appointment with her too.
but i forgot. then she saw me. she was pissed. i could see.
sigh. good la. if my dad go find them. i am dead.
sigh. oh man. my dad deserves death.
who on earth curse their dad de lor.
ok la. me lar. i just hate him to the core. *curses.

[i dont know what i want. sometimes i really wonder.]

am in the blogging mood.
today spent the day sleeping.
did some packing. actually supposed to be studying.
but fell asleep. damn. i am like dying.
my dad is stressing me. he says if i really fail my tests.
he will transfer me out of crescent.
and he will go to the temple to become a monk.
and he is serious abt it. and wats with monks lor.
oh man. he told me our family is free-thinker de.
then there he wanna turn a monk all for me?!?!
he is just trying to make me feel guilty.
then he can get out of this house. which i am happy with though.
but he is putting all the blame on me by then.
anyway my mom is the only breadwinner wat.
so wat is he. nothing. no diff. he gained no respect from me anyway.
guess i really hate him that much. oh man. ass.

ok. my temper is getting from bad to worse.
its all because of wats happening around me i guess.
irritating ppl around. worsen my temper every min of the day.
i dunno wat am i talking abt. blah blah blah.
ok lets see. yesterday...
supposed to go to sch to get some stuff from mayyee at 9++.
but opps. i couldnt wake up. reached sch at like 1030.
sorry mayyee!!! opps.
donated 2 bucks at the redhill mrt station!!! the girl quite chio and blur. =).
then liyun asked me pei her go get her prom nite blouse in bugis.
then there we went off. sigh. forgot all abt studying.
then she got her blouse. we went to eat.
ate corochan thing!!! i got the cheese filled one. 2 bucks.
nice!!! haha. then i got the tako pachi bacon and cheese!!!
2 bucks. haha. so cheesy huh. hahaha.
liyun almost die by the way i threw the whole tako pachi into my mouth.
it was so hoooot i squatted there and open my mouth till it was cool.
haha. i very horrible la. mouth so big. hahaha.
then we went to town. to find denise at scotts.
liyun got money from her. then liyun and me went to taka.
walk walk. then went to heeren. donated 2 bucks to this bung. liyun's fren.
then eh. went back to sch!!!
hoho. played piano. slept. sent her to the foryer coz her dad came to fetch her.
then eh. went back. took panadol. talked with evelyn, sandra, pearlyn and ber.
then bought cme books!!! so exciting huh. bleah.
lame. ok. then 430 left the school.
i was deciding whether to pierce my ears or not.
was so scared. then in the end decided not to.
so sandra went opp bus stop. the rest of us walked to redhill.
in the train they suddenly suggest that i really should pierce my ears.
then i was like huh? oh ok. then went to town instead.
went to cine. heart pumping like mad. lol. abit drama. but i was scared.
then pierced. ouch!!! the woman who pierced my ears is expressionless!!!
oh man. i wanna spank her butt. hohohoho.
then yup yup. i was in pain. went walking around very fast.
haha. madness la. the paiin almost made me die.
the pain is hard to describe noe. is like pain yet not pain.
but wanna cry yet no tears to cry it out kinda thing. hoho. mad la.
then went heeren walked into most of the shops.
then it was raining!!! so pearlyn gave me her newspaper to cover my ears.
felt bimbotic. hahaha. then we walked to far east.
read the grafiti for quite awhile. i find it lame though!!! =/.
hmmm. then went home le. ber and pearlyn send me home.
so sweet huh. there was this little boy who was damn scary in the train.
yup. then went home. mommy was amused by my ears piercing. so cute. =).
ears were pain. until i fall asleep. couldnt feel le.
woke up this morning not pain liao le!!! hohohoho.

hmmm. and yeo sy is alive!!! hohoho.
she called me. that funny girl. at last huh.
and heard that her hair is dyed. woo funky.
i wanna dye too. but i am worried i will get my ears infected.
like quite dangerous. my hair is like long.
dye that time will touch my poor ears. ok.i am crapping to myself.
lalala.

[missing those days when the love was so strong.]

i pierced my ears!!!
like finally.
oh well... i think its pain.
coz i am too coward.
hohoho. no la. guess its my sensitive skin.
like OUCH.
hohoho. pink crystal stud.
pain wor. hahaha. update tmr properly.
not in the mood to blog.
*winks.

[your words like darts, pierced through my heart like how it pierced through my ears.]

on the computer for like 7 hours le.
oh man.
i am the best.
kor kor not around then like that.
feeling bad.
but still. haha. coz kor kor not around wat.
but am missing him somehow.
lalalala. wonder how he is in gold coast now.
muz be sleeping eh. hahaha.
yup yup... lalalala.

[hidden.]

wooooo well...
i am so bored.
hahaha. chatting still.
my mom thinks i am chatting with my bf or something.
so cute!!!
i love my mom.
i wanna get 6 pacs. like now.
gonna do sit-ups+rolling+crunches before i sleep.
does crunches spell as crunches?
ok i dunno. like watever.
lol. good nite!

[cheesecake mood.]

distance so very wide.
guess its time to let go.

[its time again.]

just called liyun. lol.
was supposed to wear a skirt all for her tmr.
lucky postpone the meeting.
or else so malu!!! lol.
lalalala. i miss [red.] leh. hohoho.

[hypering.]

wooo. watching [qi jie mei.].
nice show. haha. but scary.
am scared. haha.
thinking of liyun!!! hohoho.
lol.

[issit really all you and i in you?.]

its all memories left behind us.
its not the word us ever again.
its you and me.
we are no longer the same ever since.
you are no longer the same.
neither am i.

[soundless movie playing.]

oh did i say my hp is not with me le.
then now its with my bro in goldcoast.
so dun try calling or msging me.
waste your own money noe. lol.
yup liyun i hope you will read this.

oh yup. did i say my sister got back her PSLE results?
232. oh man that girl got all As.
but she boasted that she could get all A*s.
like wat the hell. she is trying hard to get into crescent leh.
i dun like it. so tired of her being in my life.
if come to my sch life i am gonna die.

[short term memory.]

who are you to find out so much stuff abt my life?
it MY life. dont you ask my friend abt my life anymore.
for she is innocent.
she is not pretending for goodness sake.
you are the one pretending from the start.
the way you rolled your eyes makes me feel like whacking you up.
you ass of the century.
i mean. if you are not that bad.
why do the ppl around you actually dislike your actions?
change for them. i dont see any changes.
i actually had no comments on you.
not that i know much of you.
but you happily treated my friend so badly.
and the way your eyes roll. oh man.
the more i think abt it.
the more pissed i get over you.
you rolling your eyes at MY friend.
she is your friend too.
how can you treat your friend like that when you are bad mooding.
after all she is so innocent.
you know what. if you are all left alone.
i am gonna laugh out loud.
for ppl gave you the chance to change.
but you are not treasuring it.
screw you.

[i hate ppl like you who treat your friend so badly.]

yest. went to sch.
posting din have my name.
whoa. like how scary.
asked the general office. they said monday.
was so scared that i am not even retained.
haha. then me and chang sy saw this paper.
in the general office. abt remarks on ppl who did not do well.
ok. my remark is 'retain'.
yup yup. so at least one point.
a confirm retain wun get expelled.
next point. i haven finish with my study stuff.
but i am so in the playing mood. hohoho.
yup studied yest. abit only.
was not in the mood. slept around.
nose blocked. i cant breathe eh. haha.
then june, yuan-i, ber and evelyn came all the way to khatib macs to eat?!?!!
haha. mad girls. ok. june is not mad coz she lives in yishun. haha.
they are all mad ppl. lol.
then june went home. then walked them to overhead bridge
haha. funny ppl. went home prepared to go running with sis.
then liyun called me. asked me to open my door.
said got surprise. lol. then the 3 of them there.
damn free lor they all. then i went to walk them to mrt station again.
they saw my dad. the scary man in my house.
saw my mom too. the very cute woman i love.
haha. my mom like some kid. so curious keep asking for their names.
then my dad said they are mad.
coz they screamed when my dad talked to them. oh man. ='/.
haha. was a funny day. in the end nv go running.
then at nite i din sleep. was helping kor kor to pack his stuff.
ironed clothes. pack pack. watched ghost show with him.
made him follow me to the iron coz i was scared.
lalala. sent him downstairs to the taxi with mom.
slept at 4++ was so tired. almost fainted. lala.
today woke up late.
training starts at 9 i woke up at 9.
haha. reached at 1030 i think.
did 4 rounds warm up.
did 4 times of the jump jump drills.
and 2 rounds cool down. lol.
great. i slacked like shit. oh man.
then me and jo went to town.
ate cheesecake in coffee bean!!!
wooo. nice i love. then ate the jap noodles thingy.
hahaha. then went to heeren.
played bishi bashi for my very first time.
saw a chio wallet that i am gonna save up for.
hehehehe. winks winks.
then wanted to send jo home.
but ended up in her house painting nails.
lol. talked alot. rain. then went home le.
went home. yup yup.
then went running with sister.
hehehe. coz slacked in the morning training.
so felt bad. did warm up. 8 x 80m sprint.
then drills too. then cool down. lol. simply and slackful workout too.
lalalala. serene called me. talked for so long.
miss that girl man. she pierced her ears.
wooo. cool dude. lalalala. talked so much. hehehe.
now am in the i wanna kill someone mood. lalala.
*winks.*

[you deserve it if you are all left alone.]

who could know the emptiness inside.
every time I see your face.
too many feelings left behind.
do you wonder why.
i turn away when you look at me.
never wanting your eyes to see.
this desperate heart that knows.
how perfect we could be.

[feelings i never wanna know within me.]

yawn. good morning.
just sent my sister to bus stop.
lalala. posting today.
i keep dreaming abt it.
like how i cant find my name in the posting list.
it means that i cant retain.
i am expelled. oh man.
i hope its not so... *prays hard.

[the distance is growing too wide.]

did i say i love my mother?
she is the cutest thing on earth.
yup yup.

[numb-ed by reality.]

recap monday.
went to sch.
studied. + talked to jc girls.
was freaked out. by a particular jc.
went down to canteen to study with huiyi then.
ended up cleaning the table and beaches.
coz it was really damn dirty.
then we ended up mopping the floor.
lol. then started studying.
then the smell of kfc was tempting us.
woooo. we were so hungry.
craving for food. then went to mobil to eat chicken pie.
then went back tertia lingzhi ask me over.
we exchange the crackers that ber gave us with kfc chicken.
lol. then we ate so much. wooo. was so contented.
then left sch with huiyi.

tuesday. hmmm..
it was jo's birthday!!!
ok. fionne me and huiyi were in the canteen slacking.
talking talking. decided to follow dorcas and mrs heng for coca!
though we were supposed to go training. haha.
hohoho. mrs heng's treat.
huiyi kept eating prawns. i ate vegetables.
mrs heng said she noticed i ate alot of veg and said its good.
winks.
hahaha. ate for so long.
yup yup. ate ice cream too!
mrs heng is the best form teacher la huh. =).
then went to meet jo.
saw jw's hair from afar on the way.
hohoho. recognise her hair though its coloured le.
jac ankita and andrea were there too.
said hi. then went off to jo there.
sang birthday song. quite pathetic.
only me huiyi and jo ate that one slice of cheese cake.
huiyi went off.
the rest of the ppl there and jo and i went to take neoprints.
it was damn lame. hohoho.
and i officially made jo my red. and i am yellow.
both of us make orange.
yup yup. then sent jo, ber and evelyn to jo's house.
went home. had a long but fun day. =).

wednesday.
went to sch. surprisingly. jw was around too.
hohoho. really miss that girl.
so we talked. played with worm.
act as if we were trying to do a sum in front of the jc girl.
graudually disappeared from sight.
hahaha. then sy huiyi fionne tw and i went to canteen.
talked. then invited huiyi to talk to us abt stuff.
hoho. was so freaked out.
by the fact that i have a short lifeline.
cried. lol.
went to mobil for lunch with huiyi and liyun.
while the rest of them left.
slacked then. until 'o' level history ended.
liyun went off to her fren's house.
huiyi out with tiff and janice i think.
then i stayed to study alone.
then ppl came and talk to me.
then went home.
sis then wanted to go running.
so went with her. i ran 2.4km k.
haha. hardworking huh.
but 400m warm up. 400m cool down.
so in the end did 1.6km only. *blush.

today!
hmmm. must recall...
okok. morning.
training. was drizzling.
hohoho. did 6 x 400m.
i trained hard k.
haha. then we did striding 100m i think for 6 times.
then jo hit my finger by accident with the weight.
wooo. blue black at first.
then i was acting bimbotic. like "ouch"ing here and there.
haha. then continued running. suddenly realised its bleeding.
hahaha. then i panic. hoho.
but then cool down i asked for plaster.
mr lin asked wat happened. then i showed him.
he said its nothing only la. then started squeezing the blood out.
like ouch k. hahaha. then yitian gave this iodine thing to put.
haha. then eh. training end.
they all went town i think.
me and bernice went back to school to study.
yup. went to find fionne first.
wooo. got instantly 3 demerit tickets from dorcas.
was so careless. din notice her around.
oh man. hahaha. then went back to study.
mug. mug. mug. yeah. productive.
then june yuani evelyn pearlyn sandra came along.
mrs heng invited me to eat the food for softball.
said, "got vegetables i noe you will love it."
hohoho. she knows me well huh. that cute girl.
hmmm. then ate. did work.
they played with pad?!!!?? it was gross.
not that pad gross. its the thing inside the pad.
yucks. totally.
then went home at 430 plus.
i cant find the ans sheet mrs leow give!!! how? *panic.
oh well. bernice send me home.
hahaha. i walked her back to the mrt station again.
thinks i am mad. but i dun think i am.
blah blah. yup yup.
productive day!!! yeah. great. =).

[stop your nonsense.]

haha. change template.
did it myself.
for the first time.
winks.

[yawn.]

erm. have been wanting to pierce my ears.
but still haven.
hmmm. i have virgin ears. like jo's. *winks.
hahaha. yawn.
so should i pierce or not.
i dun dare leh. issit pain. nvm.
shall see when i have the courage i will go.
lalalalala.

[bored still.]

Fate fell short this time, i'll be yellow, you be red.
your smile fades in the summer, so lost and disilusioned.
place your hand in mine, i'll be yellow, you be red.
i'll leave when i wanna, so lost and disilusioned.

a song chorus of blink 182 song. meaningful to me.
did i say i like both the colours red and yellow?
*blush*
haha i am mad. anyway.
i love red. yellow. and orange.
realised [red+yellow=orange.]. nice. =).
i hope orange can be a long lasting colour.
cause i will never leave.
ok. seems like no relevance to many. but nvm.
bleah. =P.

[bored.]

my dad just said he still wanna transfer me out.
wats his ass problem.
nvm.
let fate decides.
perhaps its him.
i am gonna study like shit.
he is an ass.
deserves death. *curses...

[curse his ass off.]

i am walking like a gangster coz of my hips.
feeling damn weird. =P.

anyway. why whenever i go to church it will rain?
and that i will cry.
someone told me its coz He is crying for me.
today when there was a thunder.
i said'why does it always rain when i go to church. i am not coming anymore."
then in the end never rain le.
i think He heard me.
i really hope to attend church often.
but thanx to neo shihui. now my bro knows i go le.
so this time probably is my last time there.
sigh. last time when i can go. i run away.
why? ok. coz i am afraid i have sin-ed too much.
ok. i am still sin-ing though. i dunno. but.
its too late le. sigh.
nvm.

had planned my secondary school life le.
hoho. its funny.
i showed to huiyi and liyun.
they had a laugh at it.
anyway. guess its time i change and adapt to my new life.

[time to change.]

had a long week.
monday studied.
tuesday went for training+slacked.
wednesday was sentosa day. had lotsa fun.
thursday had training+towning for awhile+slacked in sch.
friday studied+slacked.
today was supposed to train.
but din. instead i studied abit.
went town. and cell and service.
talked to neo shihui. really missed her cute face. hoho.
my hips have been hurting since last sat.
stupid hips got stupid injury i think.
yitian suggest sinseh. but i cant be bothered.
give my hips a week more to recover.
if not then i go to find my bone specialist then.

[Lord, you are the only one i can turn to. yet i run away from You. am sorry.]

haven been blogging properly recently.
lets see wat happen in my week. woo.

monday i had lessons.
then video journalism.
but huiyi, sy, fionne, tw and me decided to go late.
but ended up not going lor. lol.
its was a fun day. ate chicken rice.
had competition see who ate the most.
i am the winner k. i think sy oso. i ate 4 plates of rice.
and huiyi is one cute thing who keep burping.
yup yup. then went to hospital at the end of the day to visit ria.
that girl too cute le. during 'o's come and play catching?
ok thats wat i heard. but lucky she is fine le. *thank God.

tuesday. had lessons.
then video journalism. in between got scolded by ms chan.
she damn ass. made me cry.
totally dun need to bring up the matter that i am retaining wat.
sucker. totally have to demoralise me.
i mean i was in the wrong coz i wore ankle colour socks.
and din tuck in shirt and hair tie wrong colour.
but she totally dun have to be so irritating de. sucker.
anyway i keep crying and whining hohoho. madness.
lalala. then eh... went for video journalism late.
we were splited into diff groups.
face became sian-ed. it was funny by our expressions.
then we got into a group and did nothing but crap.
then huiyi and i went to find angeline and hweeyi.
to help us get out of class coz we wanna pon to go and eat macs or something.
then in the end decided not to go le coz it was late le.
our acting skills cannot make it. we forever laughing.
wat peer group lor. funny plz.
then we ended up eating potatoe chips. how pathetic.
but we were hungry so it was nice. =).
walked them to redhill then went home.

wednesday. send my sis to school.
then went to meet huiyi and chang siying and fren for breakfast.
had breakfast in tbp. bk. then i drank milk only.
its DAMN cheap lor. like $1.80 only wat. yucks.
totally cheat my money de. lalala.
then we were still early for lessons. so went to take the north east line.
huiyi and me one group. chang and fren one group.
took in diff route. one from outram there and the other from doby ghaut.
then see who reach faster. oh well. so fun eh.
but we lost. hohoho. of coz rite. we took the longer route. lol.
then went to pick fionne and andrea from their softball training in the tanglin special school.
then eh walked so far then got into school.
lalala. then had lessons.then video jouranlism we went to harbour front.
for 'shooting aka filming'. but we ate fast. woo.
jw came then we film. its an imovie abt homosexuals.
they went to buy mood rings then. so interesting. i want one too. =P.
hohoho. funny. then sy and huiyi went off.
then fionne and tw going back to school to return camera. so i pei-ed them.
jw and andrea stayed there to buy something i think.
then we went home le. yeah. had a long day. fun. =).

then thursday. sent sis to sch again. had lessons.
then chem practical. was funny.
then eh. went video journalism late. hohoho.
ms chan was in the canteen. we totally hid here and there.
then went to edit our imovie realised how short it was.
we film huiyi's "blood dripping" to lengthen our video. =/.
then nothing much. after that we went home.
was a long and tiring day.

friday! fun day.
yup. sent sister to school. took the bus all the way to bus interchange.
was stoning. took a bus which i dunno wat bus it was.
then sat in the bus and stoned for 50 mins.
then when finish stoning. looked around. realised i am in an unknown place!
but then i got down. find the place familiar looking.
it was little india! hohoh. the place we went for heritage tour.
then i walked around to find a way to get out of there.
then found mrt station. went to school.
anyway i think i got this weird disease.
[i dunno where i am heading but i noe i am still in singapore.] disease.
hohoho. madness. then i slept while huiyi and kisha studied.
stella came along. then all of us ate donuts. =).
blah blah. then had bio practical. it was funny.
fionne sat beside me. both of us keep doing weird stuff.
the teacher was totally staring at us. even helped us to off the gas.
hohoho. lol. then huiyi, chang, fionne, tw and me went running.
hohoho. sounds lame rite? but its not! lalalala.
we are healthy ppl! yeah. we ran to town to eat.
then ran back. hohoho. i had a bad headach then. ate panadols. =).
then we ran back to sch got our bags and went swimming.
hohoho. chang sy was in a swimming mood.
so all of us went. though i din swim. coz i scared i will kena rash.
lalalala. then we sun tanned. so fun k. i love my frens. =).
lalalalalalalalalalalala. totally. but there were fucking guys around.
they kept staring. like plz la. keep your eyes to yourself.
ppl wear sports bra to swim nothing wrong wat.
keep your own pubic hair in your swimming trunk. suckers.
lalalala. then we went to watch the national hockey team play.
then went home. yup yup. long and fun day! yeah i love.

today. went training. was the only one around.
hey ppl here reached at 9 sharp k.
but like so little ppl. then am the only sec.3 sprinter around.
but i did my workout with the high jumpers.
was funny totally half-ed the workout ourselves.
sze ying wasnt feeling well. poor girl.
i was particially deaf. recently keep having problems with my ears.
guess i am gonna be deaf soon. bleah.
then went back to school. then came home.
was a long trip from school to home. =P.
yup yup. now i go eat lunch. =P.

[i love my friends.]

so wat if its ever serious.
i can never do anything.
i told you i am useless.
i want you to be happy.
go ahead.
think that i am dead then.
gone in your life.

[dead in your life.]

nvm. i understand how you feel.
am sorry k. i will get out from your life. now.

[bye.]

yesterday regained my smile.
after a nitemare i had in the afternoon.
hoho. realised how interesting life is.
keep having nitemares. freaks me off.
totally dont wanna sleep anymore.
but sometimes when i wake up from them i will go back to sleep.
coz i wanna find out wat happen in the end. hoho.
madness. lalalala. anyway. today i slept till 10 plus.
then keep trying to go back to sleep. then woke up at 12.
then eh. had breakfast. then started studying.
lalala. till 630 k. proud lor. hohoho.
i feel as if i am taking 'o' levels. hahaha.
studying like mad now. so fun. yeah. eye abit cock now.
stupid. i hate my dad. *curses him badly*
lalalalala. holidays ahead. its time for me to study.
lalalalalala. i am going crazy. hohoho. madness.

[books make me mad.]

i know my acting skills are horrible these days.
for i used to have something to smile abt.
used to have something to be positive abt.
used to be myself.
now everything changed. i am now a different person.
no one can understand me.
but i am still myself. just the negative side of me.
this wouldnt last long. i am searching for myself. the old self.
you will see the smile i used to hang on my face. soon. real soon i hope.